Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Secret
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Manhunt
Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Been there, done that
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML
So creepy
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Sketchy
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Bizarre love triangle
Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML
Top comments
AngelLovesDerby 10
Whoa... What a Bi*ch... Get a DNA test homie!!
Vagitarian1 10
Paternity test. Now!!!
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Comments (164)
The_Khan 12
Paternity test obviously. Do not trust their word that they did that on the other guy and you are the the only one left.
lolli_12 6
MAURY MAURY MAURY
splitintwo 6
If the childs yours sue for custody. Clearly the mother isnt a good influence!
dabum18 5
DNA before you pay
Nightwolf32 5
Get a paternity test before you do anything else
biglow223 6
Time for a paternity test, OP. If the baby is yours, man up and take care of him/her, and be a part of its life!
lostmemories06 1
Sign over your rights, you won't have to pay
amisenho 11
Are there really parents out there who'd rather sign away any rights to be a good influence for their kids and shirk responsibility like that? I mean, considering that he helped his ex get pregnant, anyway (assuming that OP is the father); she didn't exactly impregnate herself, and I don't think humans are capable of parthenogenesis, yet. Coming from a household where my dad cheated on my mom, divorced her, and signed away parental responsibility for my sister and me because he wanted a "clean slate" for his new wife and daughter-on-the-way, it hurts to see people who would be so eager to give up responsibility simply because it's too much of an inconvenience for their new lives. The risk to get pregnant is almost always there, so these deadbeat parents need to realize the potential consequences they ultimately agreed to when they started getting busy in the back of the car.
cal3igh 5
MAURYYY!
DanielleinDC 34
Get a paternity test, and if it's yours ask for a custody agreement--I would hope that if it is your child, you want to take a part in his/her life. But this gal sounds like a real mess, and I really do feel sorry for any child of hers.
mbwilks 10
Ya know, my ex went through the same thing... Sucks. Sorry.