Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML
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Top comments
AngelLovesDerby 10
Whoa... What a Bi*ch... Get a DNA test homie!!
Vagitarian1 10
Paternity test. Now!!!
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Comments (164)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
A shady ex, the gift that keeps on giving.
commandercolbert 6
good luck brother i hope u dont pay supoort
cylus13 9
Make her back it up with a DNA test.
Culpion 3
If you didn't wrap it before you tapped it, it's your own goddamn fault.
doggy1230 5
Right! Because condoms work 100% of the time.
reaxion 25
Ask her the kid's date of birth, count 9 months back. If it's after she dumped you, tell her to get lost. Easiest and cheaper than a paternity test! Just tell her it is so you can send your kid a birthday card.
glitterkuro 18
Um well no because the pregnancy occurred while they were still dating. She was cheating on him at the time so they thought the kid was the other man's.
fboy1588 14
Now dats fuckd up.... I know i wouldve flipd shit
martin8337 36
Go to Maury.
shadow22_12 3
don't be a dinky wrap your winky, no glove no love, wrap it in latex or she'll take your paychecks
evolute72113 9
Fake your death, leave a video will leaving all your stuff with your "identical twin"
belljars 22
She did you dirty