Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML
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Top comments
AngelLovesDerby 10
Whoa... What a Bi*ch... Get a DNA test homie!!
Vagitarian1 10
Paternity test. Now!!!
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Comments (164)
foxy_grampa 19
Get a DNA test done. If it isn't yours her case will never hold up in court. Otherwise, hope you can find a good lawyer so that you can get away with not having paid it since you didn't know it was yours
wysegirl 24
Since she never informed you then sue for custody and make her pay you child support but no doubt get a DNA test
SgtAssCheeks 21
This FML smells "The Maurie Show" miles away...
MMWolves 7
What a bitch!
EmmaMK 35
Get tested to make sure it's yours then come back at her for all of the moments you have missed and can't get back. What is she playing at! Good luck how ever it turns out.
perdix 31
I hope she's right. Now, you can have a kid having skipped the "terrible twos." They're so much fun after that. Try to be an awesome dad regardless of how much a ******** you think the mom is.
tukies 28
Nope DNA test now. They are expensive, but not as much as child support till they're 18.
sunnyray812 42
What a little bitch! She fooled you. I feel bad for you, OP.
Blavock 12
Your girls a hore
shadow22_12 3
***** *
mansfield_j 27
Drop your rights and she can't do anything if you are the father
Korra_fml 23
i dont believe that's true. my older (half) brother's dad dropped his rights and my mom was still able to collect child support from him.
ksks1234 33
You sound like a winner. Drop the rights on your kid(s) or something?