Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
He doesn't know that sitting outside your window at night isn't considered a date.
ThatFancyPenn 18
Look on the bright side, you have a boyfriend that you didn't know about. Don't you just love surprises?
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Comments (54)
Welshite 40
He doesn't know that sitting outside your window at night isn't considered a date.
TheWildRover1 12
it's not? Wow, I have a lot less exs then I thought...
suplarai 12
I'm dating this one girl, she even got a restraining order, she's playing hard to get I know it
DrownedMyFish 18
What are you saying, Welshite? Are you telling me our relationship is a lie and all that time I spent watching you from a distance means nothing?
Welshite 40
#31: Of course not. There is a reason why I developed a habit of working out naked in front of the open window.
Arrow44 10
Welshite I've been wanting to ask for a while but....could you put some blankets under your bed? It gets awfully cold at night.
Welshite 40
But your shivering vibrates through the bed and soothes the sore muscles I get from my naked workout.
Sports_guy3 28
Just go along with it.
DocBastard 40
I find this thread easy to ********** to.
Cadillac4427 8
#53, I guess when she wakes up in a unrecognizable room after chloroform was used, she should just go with it huh? "Honey it's a surprise date"...:>)
perdix 31
#35, interesting. I've always let girls who watch my naked Zumba routines to amass date credits. They need them for calculating anniversaries and when it's time for me to put out.
swaggalikethat 22
It's so obvious this one girl wants the D. You can tell by the way she kicks my ass everytime I approach her naked.
hunts19ketchup 23
The phrase "wants the D" should be banned.
meepmerp 20
Si
little_one1 14
So... are you dating?
JocelynKaulitz 28
They're dating, she just "doesn't know it yet."
Mr_Loudmouth 9
It's a surprise relationship. Those are my favorite!
maximus_prime 24
Waking up to surprise sex is even better, unless you're in jail :-/
BrookieAnn 19
Was he at least cute?
RoxiLady 10
They are posting this on FML, think about it. Probably not.
Welshite 40
#12: I think the OP is posting a FML about the situation itself. No indication was given about the attractiveness of the guy. Not that it would matter anyway. Looks aren't everything.
Rainhawk94 27
Thank you got your contribution #32, but a thumbs up would've sufficed
hashshim 23
Thank you for YOUR contribution, #47, but a thumbs down would've sufficed.
ThatFancyPenn 18
Jeez #32 I wish there was a button for that...
RoboCunnilingus 23
I hate when people say looks don't matter. If they don't matter to YOU, then great, date whoever you want. But it does matter to some people, man. I don't need someone who looks like Beyonce, but I would like to date someone that I at least find relatively attractive. I think physical attraction IS important.
mattrd_fml 31
#68. He never said that looks don't matter. He said looks aren't everything. and they're not.
ThatFancyPenn 18
Look on the bright side, you have a boyfriend that you didn't know about. Don't you just love surprises?
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
Well not all surprises are lovely. Having a child you don't know about? That's a terrible surprise.
SmittyJA24 26
Boyfriend? "Dating" & "boyfriend" are NOT necessarily interchangeable terms. I've dated gals that I did not consider to be my girlfriend. I guess the definition of "dating" varies from person to person.
Vlen_fml 20
i guess it does, but i'd have to go out at least, 4-5 times and spent some serious together time before allowing the BF/GF titles, personally.
JennaNGood 21
I feel like this shouldn't have happened to me before, but it has. Of course, I was in grade eight at the time... He was in grade seven *hashtag cougar*
ThatFancyPenn 18
Well of course there was a rumor started about you being in 8th grade. That's typical junior high behavior.
suplarai 12
Why didn't you just put a #?
Sandman366 6
25- #HashtagBoycott, didn't you hear?
hunts19ketchup 23
Being attracted to someone a year younger than you makes you a cougar? Seems legit.
kmccain 27
Jeez, what does that make me? I date someone two years younger than me.
JennaNGood 21
Calm down everyone, the *hashtag cougar* was sarcasm, I would've thought people would've realized that. I have no problem with people dating with an age difference, personally the guys I'm usually attracted to are significantly older than me.
JesterJosh 5
Please just shut up. Just. Stop. Now. The amount of stupid is too overwhelming.
JennaNGood 21
How so? How is it considered "stupidity" when other commenters didn't understand my obvious sarcasm?
laden_swallow09 35
Apparently, it wasn't obvious at all, if it were even sarcasm to begin with.
TrueTriage 16
The questions on my mind are: Is this person attractive? And How do you know this isn't an elaborate set up?
kamikrazy 6
Because looks are everything right.
Enslaved 38
Not only just looks-- You can also be attracted to someone's personality or humour and in some cases their money. jk Not for nothing, you usually need some type of attraction or you'll probably just be friends and nothing more.
sterling1113 15
Wow, the power of gossip. "Well she said you and I are dating- so I figured yeah okay why not." Good luck, OP!
tukies 28
So that's where I'm going wrong. I actually need to make eye contact with the people. I must be careful with this new power. I don't want just anyone to think I flirting with them.
tukies 28
This comment did not belong here. Something happened after I hit validate, and I took too long looking for my reply to change it. My apologies.
SuperMew 22
But my aunt's yoga instructor's dog groomer's gynecologists' Buddhist priest's best friend's janitor's monkey said gossip has a lot of power. But like you, I never listen to gossip.
Kiki242 19
Have you been sending signals? Like making eye contact in the hallway?
Setareh23 34
Or smiling and saying hi? If you have smiled at him you clearly were signalling that you wanted to date him! Nothing to do with just being a nice polite person.
Welshite 40
Maybe that's why I'm forever alone. I make eye contact with people, but for some reason they always run away. Maybe it's because I think eye contact is a primal challenge and go for their throats?
RileyTheCoyote 6
@14- Marry me. Please. Now.
MortenM 17
Yea. Maybe OP should've kept her hand out of his pants, but that still don't mean their dating
ItsMeDiegoG 8
I think you have a not so secret admirer
CEOofFML 2
just no go away
Rainhawk94 27
Poor guy thought it was too good to be true and it was