Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years actually believes that the Earth is flat. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
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Top comments
alexlovescandy 3
What a terrible excuse for a girlfriend.
Screwie 25
I believe and predict that she will get aids - I don't even need to be a genius to know that. Oh, and she will end up single pretty soon too.
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Comments (107)
calliefornia2 3
I'm sure it's "ex"-girlfriend now :P
coolbrony12 3
She doesn't believe it obviously and it's just an excuse to cheat on you.
CoDHater 9
It's not that bad to believe that we will all die on December 21st. But to cheat on you with other guys because of that belief is just stupidity. Dump her if you haven't already and find yourself a non-cheating woman. You deserve it
caplox 6
Girlfriend? I hope you mean ex.
sevenbro007 3
Stupid bitch.
clandel 1
She just doesn't like you bro
ravenrandom 0
why are you even with her? you obviously do not respect her. find an intelligent girl. unless you are not smart enough for an intelligent girl.
wubbazugg 5
Ditch the bitch. She's beyond recovery. And she's a ****.
dabeast15 7
Ditch tha bitch
YogieGirl 3
The Mayan calendar (the one that predicts the end of the world) doesn't account for leap years. The world was suppossed to end already. Tell her that and enjoy seeing the look on her face when she realizes she was wrong this whole time. Sweet revenge.