Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years actually believes that the Earth is flat. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
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Top comments
alexlovescandy 3
What a terrible excuse for a girlfriend.
Screwie 25
I believe and predict that she will get aids - I don't even need to be a genius to know that. Oh, and she will end up single pretty soon too.
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Comments (107)
SoylentCandycorn 10
The world isn't ending on the 21st of December, but your relationship with an empty-headed ***** can end right now!
Futacy 30
The Mayan Calendar didn't take leap years in account, so technically, the world should've ended over a year ago. Just sayin
TheHarvardian 25
I think the world "should have ended" give years ago according to the Mayans. Or pretty much every year according to Nostradamus. Or in May.... You know. OP, dump that *****. Everyone is entitled to their personal beliefs, even if they're stupid, but using that as an excuse to sleep around is bs.
white16sox 19
No one believed that nutcase.
Accuraxy 10
Dump that bitch. In no way is that a valid excuse.
cman90 4
We'll believe what she says about 2012 even though you know it's false, and do what she is doing!
Czech_Zidane 14
Dump her. Such a ***** does not deserve to have a boyfriend.
Czech_Zidane 14
And I say one thing: First: 22/12 2012 will A LOT of people be embarrassed and second: maternity wards will have A LOT of work to do in September 2013 :-)
yusaku02 20
Kick the bitch to the curb. She sounds like an awful human being.
listenup14 5
December 21st is my birthday......
Special_Psycho 8
OK, belief of the apocalypse or not that ain't a freaking excuse to sleep with other men.
ccovey 2
Pimp her out. Make some money off her