Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years actually believes that the Earth is flat. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
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Top comments
alexlovescandy 3
What a terrible excuse for a girlfriend.
Screwie 25
I believe and predict that she will get aids - I don't even need to be a genius to know that. Oh, and she will end up single pretty soon too.
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Comments (107)
CanCann 16
She'll be very single and unhappy come Dec. 22nd then
iloveryan052710 8
No one ever seems to know that back when the mayans said all of this daylight savings was not invented yet. Therefore if the world were going to end, it would have happened a few months ago.
divagirl10 3
It's not daylight savings time that made it that way, it was leap year. According to the Mayan calendar, we are actually in the beginning of 2014 due to all the days put in from leap year. Daylight savings time corrected itself every year with spring forward fall back. So op's girlfriend is an idiot.
Czech_Zidane 14
Not only the girlfriend. There were maybe thousands of doomsday predictions - and we are still here. So I see no point in believing in 21st December as the doomsday either.
benmec 18
Hey babe. What's your number????
drose4248 1
Can I get her phone number?
ichoosetobe 10
She doesn't believe the world's gonna end in 2012.
doglover100 29
I find it ironic how back in January people were freaking out about the world ending, now it's November and I've heard no people freaking out about it.
PunkySpunky78 15
I know! It is like I'm the only one who is
nickolascronk 3
***** ALERT.
tamgibbo 5
Dump the loser !!! Some women are just sleazy hoes and some men are just scudzy jerks who think its cool and exciting to lay around with different partners...now a days, It seems to be more difficult to find loyal partners... I hate cheaters.. They can't be loyal to nothing !!!
Dcm210 19
Hopefully you can find a smarter girlfriend.
TimmaysRoXy 9
I say go get tested so you can spend the last days you have worry free. No tellin what that ***** brought home to you.