Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
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Top comments
superswagbro 7
You are an asshole.
Screwie 25
Everybody was kungfu fighting~
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Comments (139)
MizzErikaHart 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No judgement here.
reddawn1985 12
Dick
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Pussy. ... Were we not naming genitals?
unknown_user5566 27
1- No judgement, seriously? OP only gave money so she could watch homeless people battle it out; there should be negative judgement, and lots of it.
StoryOfTheYear 15
22- 1 was likely referring to OP having no judgement, and not that OP should receive no judgement.
unknown_user5566 27
24- #1 said "no judgement here". In my experience, that means the person saying the phrase is not passing judgement.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Eh, I guess your experience is different than mine. Maybe I'm just the odd one out.
Drigr 9
Why should op be negatively judged? People pay money to watch people fight all the time. they even bet on who will win...
BulldogHoops 14
1- False. See below.
ohSNAPyall 27
18- False. See below.
unknown_user5566 27
46- That's a lot different. Those fights are fought by people who do that for a living.
Drigr 9
Bums kinda do it for a living too. They prefer to result to violence over reason. I have a coworker that ended up in a fight with a bum because he wouldn't "give him a f*cking smoke" an the bum got aggressive.
BossPathfinderGM 14
I believe you meant "resort to violence" there, yes?
onlychildFTW 34
Why should there be judgement. WHY THE **** DOES IT MATTER WHY HE GAVE MONEY??? HE GAVE MONEY!!! WHO THE **** CARES WHY!!! Rich people give to charities for tax breaks. Yet no one seems to care. They all are like. Wow such nice people!
hatesfate 6
52 - They don't fight for a living they fight for work. The bums very well could have been fighting to continue living... Either way, I don't see why the OP should be judged. She didn't pay for them TO fight. Just to get another bum away so she could continue watching.
VoteForTaco 8
72- Calm your ****
Krajjan 9
Now if she regulated the bum fights and applied for proper licensing, that'd be different. Then they'd get paid AND we'd be entertained.
superswagbro 7
You are an asshole.
extreemguy19 7
Quite.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
No, he is an asscricket, dear sir.
MagicGiraffe 12
Asshat is becoming popular lately.
THE_A_TEEN 28
No love for ass-clown?
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
How about ass master 9000? Oh wait that's a completely different subject...
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OP should've just bought the loser a sandwich. OP gets to see a bum fight, some random bum gets change, the winner gets a sandwich, and the loser gets a free meal aswell. Everybody wins.
slim265 5
Get it right he is a butt pirate
AKGirlinSD 20
Hey, at least she admits she's an asshole. That's better than most assholes who don't even know or won't admit they are being assholes.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't get why people are thumbing down and calling her an asshole. You telling me you have not, for once in your life, searched "Bum fights" on YouTube? :P
dre9889 4
No, I haven't.
thePr3da1i3nrulz 4
95- not until today, when i saw your comment.
Blacktom_fml 6
you, brother, is the most unexpected philanthropist to me.
MeLuvBewbs 7
You are a great human for giving money. Just not prepared for several bums beating each other up...
unknown_user5566 27
Did you even read the FML? OP gave money so she could watch the fight- it wasn't unexpected.
ICastillo 25
#21 what you expect from some one with a picture of Snooki?
Drigr 9
That's what a Snooki looks like? I thought it was some deformed oompa loompa...
TaffyMichele 9
Well he could have yelled at the other bum to get out of the way as opposed to giving him change.
superswagbro 7
And at the end of their About Me it reads: "Jersey Shore bitches!"
Screwie 25
Everybody was kungfu fighting~
OnlyAvailableID 28
Leave OP alone, it was probably a little bit frightening.
Zaros_fml 24
They fought with expert timing, though.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
C-c-c-c-c-c-c-****. Sorry, my tourettes got the better of me. No combo breaker today :'(
KingMomo360 13
HU.....HA!
JoeGrant 12
Kung Fu panda style!
astoryofroses 9
finding the problem is a start! now go fix your personality!
agonydrum 7
There nothing wrong with trying to watch two bums fight over a sandwich, don't be such a stuck up bitch at least op gave money
SqueakyChipmunk 22
The real question here: What kind of sandwich was it?
olpally 33
Peanut butter jelly time!!! :D
ICastillo 25
It doesn't matter they're bums any sandwich is worth fighting for. Bums love sandwiches.
pokefan813 16
Ham. Who doesn't love ham?
ohSNAPyall 27
Burning sand, which I threw into your eyes.
EnterSandman_fml 20
Knuckle sandwiches abound in bum fights.
Posthuman 26
Get that bum a sandwich. Bums love sandwiches
ohSNAPyall 27
Monte Cristo.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
83) Your picture scares Slenderman and Freddy Krueger.
karen1991 15
Subway eat fresh!
kyat288 9
You should of taken the sandwich and given it to your boyfriend the next time he asked you to make him one
unknown_user5566 27
Was this an attempt to reference a previous FML...?
ghirahim 5
Ooh, good one.
emeraldisle 30
7 - *should have
_krystallynn_ 11
you gave him money. Thats always a plus:)
ohSNAPyall 27
Not when you're paying off his dignity.
kakarot2 11
I have job applications I hand out to the homeless whenever they ask me for money.
fwongraven 10
Sounds like the right idea but you can't get a job if you have no address and can't afford clothes for the interview.
Posthuman 26
63 you can't pay for a sandwich with a job application. That's just silly.
MalloryKnox 8
My friend in D.C. started a homeless newspaper. They write stories about local goings-on and such, she prints them up, the homeless sell them and keep most of the profits (the rest goes to materials). The homeless get paid for their efforts and the people of D.C. stay well informed.. Everybody wins! But she's like the ultimate brilliant do-gooder and I don't know a lot of other people willing to put that kind of effort into something that gets them nothing.. So the search for the hobo solution continues...
fwongraven 10
We have that in the UK, it's called the Big Issue. It's not perfect but the magazine will only allow homeless people to sell it once they've proved they're clean of any drugs or alcohol, which is positive.
loopsy_fml 14
8- not in South Park! If you give a homeless guy change, he totally forgets he has it! They live off the change, but never realize they have it.
eerin444 5
Oh my god. What is wrong with you?! Lol
nachosbabygurl 9
wow tisk tisk
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Are you trying to beatbox?