Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after finding out my parents are divorced. Same reason my last three girlfriends broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend of one year broke up with me because I started having PTSD induced night terrors. On my birthday as well. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through charades. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to give her my phone's passcode. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML
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Top comments
MURIKKA 11
That's completely reasonable. I had a girlfriend who's birthday was the same day as Neville Longbottom. Before I knew it, she was coming at me with a sword that she found in a hat and trying to put spells on me. Your ex girlfriend is clearly in the right, OP.
robc32ca 4
You are better off getting out now
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Comments (112)
robc32ca 4
You are better off getting out now
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Exactly. You have escaped the crazy. Count your blessings!!
Inheritance 10
I want to know who this 'fictional' character is. Could it be Darth Vader? Or possibly Voldemort? Or our worse nightmare, our mother!?
Poppipuff 14
Find some bullshit characters that share their birthday with her. This is ridiculous.
SoylentCandycorn 10
I say you take a screen cap of this FML. Twenty years from now, when she's clipping out coupons for cheesecake surrounded by cats and notebooks full of fanfiction, you can forward it to her.
MDTeddy 13
How does having the same b-day as someone especially someone who isn't real effect you? It doesn't.
tjv3 10
You dodged a bullet OP
jakeo31 0
I'm pretty sure it's Boo Radley from "To Kill A Mockingbird." Based on his username anyway.
SoylentCandycorn 10
If she thinks Boo Radley is "untrustworthy" and has "a dark side" she can't have read the book properly.
SoylentCandycorn 10
Anyhow, it's a good idea to get as far as away as possible from a girl like that, before she starts withholding nookie unless you dress up like her favourite character from Kingdom Hearts or Harry Potter.
yousuck44 11
Hmm I since this is a trueblood fiction
itaimumwiro 8
If she truly believes this you should be glad you are no longer together
Yourheadache 19
I agree, the sooner the better.
sexxxysydney 14
Exactly, he should be glad he dodged that bullet early. Otherwise, he may have proposed to her, just to watch her run away with the ring.
pickles1994 18
Or it could just be a stupid excuse to breakup with OP in the first place. You never really know.
ASD_K 11
Agreed, OP dodged a bullet there.
MURIKKA 11
That's completely reasonable. I had a girlfriend who's birthday was the same day as Neville Longbottom. Before I knew it, she was coming at me with a sword that she found in a hat and trying to put spells on me. Your ex girlfriend is clearly in the right, OP.
noncomposmentis 6
Why is this getting thumbed down? It is obviously meant to be facetious.
RussianFox 13
11- Sarcasm is sadly, rarely understood here.
laden_swallow09 35
Comments usually get the thumbs they deserve after a few hours to a day. Like right now, it has 6 thumbs up, including mine.
BulldogHoops 14
I just made it 40. Never trust the initial rating, that basically just depends on who gets there first. If some people thumb it down early because they don't get it, it will often be rescued by those who do.
WritingWrongs 8
If OP shared a birthday with Joffrey then I can see it being reasonable. I will hate that actor for all eternity. ASOIAF ftw.
lmbachman 23
lol you're hilarious. Clearly all the people that gave your comment a thumbs down don't understand or grasp the concept of sarcasm.
rs89 20
you state in your profile that you're a grammar nazi. therefore, I'm obliged to correct you, Murrika, it's "whose".
SCUBA_Diiver 3
Better off without het.
xXxSCREAMxXx 3
*her you're welcome
BulldogHoops 14
I don't think it's necessary to correct what is just a typo. I'm sure that he's well aware that "het" is not correct.
gc327072 31
OP is better off without het, and the galaxy is better off without Fett.
hihome 7
*50- You don't say! :D
hihome 7
By the way, I didn't mean that in a rude way.
Chaos_Echo 1
Hmm, interesting you shall examine the subject till further notice.
DKParth13 5
No.
Yourheadache 19
^ the picture and your comment match lol.
oj101 33
It's a good thing your girlfriend doesn't follow astrology either. Seems like she can only take things literally, and cannot interpret things for herself.
BunBunBabe 8
Now I can't even trust you
accioshannon 17
it'd be kind of cool if you shared a birthday with voldemort
007type 26
Whats the birthday of Voldemort? Come to think of it I haven't given it much thought before.
ArielTheMermaid 17
Voldemort was born December 31st
007type 26
22- Thank you. I still can't remember reading it in any book.
accioshannon 17
Yeah, I think it was in an interview or HBP. Might have been when Trelawney predicted Harry's birthday to be in mid-winter, when all she was sensing was Voldemort's bit of soul in him. Ah, that was a bit too long. Apologies.
007type 26
Just opened the copy of Half-Blood Prince, New Year's Eve it is.
joe502 3
What is she like 12 y/o.... You are better off single!
MindFreakazoid 10
I'm 12 and I'm smarter than that... Wellp, it must be Darth Vader. Or maybe Lucius.
pickles1994 18
No she's obviously 11 dude. Who cares, she's crazy for breaking up with him over that silly reasoning.