Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
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Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
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Comments (201)
voice_of_reason 0
#47 - you don't. You really don't. And especially not in those words for ****'s sake. Balls deep in a hottie?
farf_fml 0
If your BP is that bad it sounds like you are just unhealthy, try putting down the burger and picking up something green.
pat6290 0
Do it anyways, youve got insurance right?
brodizzle 0
#51, I think #47 is right actually. Balls deep in a hottie is the way I wanna go. OP, just take meds for a bit, stop eating salt altogether, and ignore your doctor. A honeymoon is (often) a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Same with a heart attack! Don't miss out on one just cause you're risking the other. The odds are in your favor.
voice_of_reason 0
#54 - he said MEN, brodizzle. Your opinion doesn't count... But I still agree that he should do it. :)
elemenopyqrstuv 0
do it anyways...
puhffft 0
That sucks. Cut the salt and exercise—just be careful! Maybe get an ambulatory blood pressure monitor/manual monitor to keep tabs on yourself? The manual monitors sell for about $30. Good luck.
FreedomFirst 0
Now you, I actually feel sorry for. That sucks. If it makes you feel any better, my husband was so sick at our wedding that we couldn't do anything that night either. He'd been sick for a while and I'd been bugging him to go to the doc. He's phobic of hospitals and refused. We got married on Saturday. After a weekend of excruciating pain he went to the doc on Monday. They sent him straight to the ER with a collapsed artery. He had a stint put in at 24 years old. I'm just glad he didn't die before we even got to be married.
hahababy 0
this is obviously not real
ts86_00 0
with a bit of a medical background on my side im going to call bull shit on this one. sex=moderate exercise which is highly recommended for a person with high blood pressure. the only exception would be if u were say booked for a triple bypass in a month
steflyn 0
Haha what medical background do you have? Watching Grey's Anatomy every week? He could have a stroke, and die. I'm an actual nurse and I think that he should probably listen to his doctor. They don't usually tell you to to something because they think it's funny to screw over your day