Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
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Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
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Comments (201)
greenman_fml 0
Just smoke weed or something man. Calm yourself down. If you're a guy, sex shouldn't be that stressful. The man always wins the race to ******
woooaaaaa 0
doctors are dumb. i say go for it..i agree w/ # 8 hahaha less work more fun.
Broc 0
This is more of a FMM (**** My Month). If I were you, I'd do it anyways. Though if you died, maybe your girl would join the army just like in Private Benjamin.
PonTiFeX 0
LAAAAME!!!!!
Carribu 0
that sucks majorly :( explain to your future wife what happened and work on other ways to please her before you actually have sex
Neenertastic 0
ha...why is there always one post telling the OP to just smoke weed? i mean, yeah, it's awesome and all... do it, but take it slooooow...don't get rough and crazy...and take some blood pressure pills... and really...it's just a month. unless you've saved yourself for this day or something ... then it's an FYL ...
godawgs313 0
wow...does high blood pressure affect your ****** too? sack up hotshot, every newlywed wife needs a dose or twelve of baby gravy... and if you did die, can you think of a more masculine way to go? balls deep in a hottie...i think i speak for all men when i say "That's how i wanna go"
mcur 0
lol ikr
LyuboLove 0
it's not the end of the world, i promise
17Master 0
Wait out the month, then use that built up anticipation have the best sex of your life ^_^
Jaxro 6
Probably just wedding stress, once you are married it will pass. Enjoy your honeymoon.