Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
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Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
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Comments (201)
parachuting 0
Some people are calling BS from your doctor based on sex being relaxing... ****** is the part that lowers the blood pressure AFTER the fact, but your heart rate has ridiculously high peaks during sex, and even at the moment of coming, so sex is indeed a risky activity for people with high blood pressure (especially those who have heart disease histories)... I'm sorry about your honeymoon, and wanna second the people mentioning that you can still make sure your wife has an enjoyable experience.
xMooMoox 0
For some reason this post strikes me as the wife-to-be. I agree with everyone else get a second opinion. And do your best to eat healthy. I heard that high blood pressure meds can lower your libido, not sure if thats true though. I don't know about you but if I wasn't going to die I would have sex, lots of it! Just do whats right for you though. Oh but you could postpone your honeymoon you know?
effevery1slife 0
wow that blows....
yumyum_isacult 0
omg that sucks balls...
FML625 0
that sucks so bad.
firefalcon 0
Okay, you people do realize that High Blood Pressure isn't always just from being fat, and that being fat isn't always caused by eating burgers and junk food...? I personally eat healthy and I am still overweight (and actually have low blood pressure). It can be genetics, and if the HBP this guy has is due to a condition that is congenital, "put down the burgers" won't help a bit. :| Yeesh. To the OP, just do oral if you don't want to take the chance. I'm sure your wife would rather have lots of "lip service" so to speak for a few weeks than a dead husband. :]
sLap_fml 0
that is terrible! i hope you can make it.
Kaitlynxfml 0
one word. Oral.
Easy_Target 0
Now hang on a damn minute, sex is supposed to be GOOD for your blood pressure!
Nakedsquirrel 5
At least you can pleasure your wife, right?