Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
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Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
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Comments (201)
Stupidpeople 0
Harsh......
hat_fml 0
postpone your honeymoon.
Sabre300 0
yeah, about as bad as me finding out my wife was having her period on our wedding night. no sex for 4 days. Belated FML.
emmamorc 0
Eat sum cherios :)
panic222354 0
haha
Zamax 0
Forget cheerios, go on a Rocky training montage through Philly!
karatekidcatblue 0
Screw doctors....Go and get u some!
chubz4life20 0
agreed with 144. try and reschedule. and if u can't, plan a romantic getaway later.
blondebarbie1124 4
Maybe your doctor has a thing for you. I can see it now.. "If I can't have him, I'll ruin that bitch's honeymoon!"
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
leyalu 0
>_< boy does that suck. FYL. Just... make sure your wife-to-be stays away from men with rippling muscles and nude beaches...
emily4040 18
Sounds like Along Came Polly
llSgtScopell 0
Ouch! Oh man that a killer. But hey theres the whole "rest of your life" thing so dont worry about it :D
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
tim2552 0
He is sooo right!! Just have sex!!!!!
countryrose92 23
I'm sure it's just a suggestion anyways, not actual "doctors orders" ;)
free_Aus 0
That's where the best man should "come in..."
rositaborracha18 0
win!
emily16189 0
haha.
Atilak 0
How you found out? :))) Thats one of the dumbest things I ever heard. Even if your doctor gave you that advice. Being sexual inactive for month dont solve anything.
steflyn 0
umm if he has high blood pressure and has sex before the medication balances it he could pass out or have a stroke.
Jimboom 12
What? I never heard such bullshit advice. Sex has been said to even lower blood pressure. This is a good excuse to make your woman/man do all the work though. ;-) And the high blood pressure is probably do the to fact that your wedding is next weekend. I would go get a second or even 3rd opinion and just enjoy your wedding/honeymoon. I'm sure your blood pressure will decrease dramatically just being on honeymoon.
GirlX 0
Yeah, that really does suck... I had something similar happen myself. It makes you think about how poorly timed illnesses can be. :/ But I agree w/ #8... get a second opinion!
mini_munny 0
#7 - the doctor probably told him to lay off the sex because he could risk getting a heart attack from his high blood pressure. It could be a safety precaution to prevent him from increasing his already high blood pressure and damaging the heart in the long run. And within a month, (if not hereditary) a person can lower their bp even a little bit by adjusting their diet and watching what they eat. But it takes time, your bp doesn't just magically drop. To OP: sucks though. I wonder if you can still have sex and maybe just get the wife-to-be to do all the work? It'll reduce the effort on your part and you get to lay back and just enjoy it ;]