Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
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Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
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Comments (201)
Karnezar 2
Yeah, but imagine how revved up your wife/husband will be after being sex-deprived for a month, and on their honey moon, too. Unless they really need sex, and cheat on you, then yeah, YLIF
poopoohead 0
Just have sex anyway and possibly die from it. I know that's how I'd wanna die.
eoh42 0
#86, you are an idiot. If you are fat, it is because you are a slob.
goodness_fml 0
I AM SOOO SORRY... AND @ #86 U dont have to be fat to have high blood pressure... things like stress and alla that can lead to it too...and it could be inherited...so yeahh...
Asia_Aneka 0
What more important: you health or sex? I'm going to go with sex.
berlioz13151411 0
SIlver lining here being that you will know DAMN well sure if they love you unconditionally about a week after the honeymoon. ;p
pyromaniac_22 0
Bitch, suck it up.
avs419 0
do it anyways
yesbutnotyou 0
that's tough, but you've got the rest of your life.
Poopybuttz 0
lose some weight?