Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
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Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
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Comments (201)
Radiohead_fml 0
Just explain to your doctor, he wil have a solution for it. No salt, meds whatever come on. But if you don't, i agree your life is f*cked.
formosababie 0
two words: lazy sex.
xillentz 0
man if you were a girl. and i were the guy. shit. id refund that honeymoon asap and rebook it LOL.
KawaiiRoxas 0
I'd move the wedding date XD. But that does suck, poor you.
angelslayer 0
if i was your fiance i would **** the doctor off and **** you harder... **** that shit you only get a hooney moon once.. dont ruin it
justinsbaby291 0
aw do it anyway! just be gentle haha, i bet ur doc can u give u medicine to control it. im telling u have oatmeal everyday it like crazy helps bringing ur blood pressure down
dk2008 3
Viagra was actually meant to lower blood pressure, just so you know:)
lespaulhero 0
**** your life....
caught22 0
if you love the person it wouldn't really matter. marriage isn't about sex its about love. its not like you can never have sex again
caught22 0
to 64... no... its not. unfortunatly i have the unpleasantness of seeing my parents disprove that myth :/