Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, after encouraging my cat to try his new cat bed all day with no success, I attempted to gently place him in it. Instead, he managed to fear-spray me in the face. Like a skunk. I didn't even know cats could do that. FML
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML
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Top comments
SumBur 11
Hakuna matata.
angelitared 27
Simba has spoken!!
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Comments (116)
dantee2005 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You deserve it.
stu0 4
If only there was a button for that...
HKCgrimmjow 15
I bet they still found it funny eh, mission accomplished!
Uramonkey 11
That's what you deserve for getting your cat hit by a ceiling fan last time!
addioty 19
Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? *cue background singers* Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault! (It's the OP's)
SumBur 11
Hakuna matata.
Wizardo 34
Exactly, don't worry its just the Circle of Life.
SumBur 11
You can either run from it or learn from it.
rudegirlmania 10
Exactly! At least the fan wasn't turned on
\ 28
That's a... ahem, wonderful situation.
hellrath 1
slimy, but satisfying :p
doubled01 12
What a wonderful phrase
angelitared 27
Simba has spoken!!
omgitsmoe 26
You mean "SIMBA HAS SHAT"
imtooshy 18
When you act like shit, you get treated like shit. Even if your cat didn't respond in such a way, doing that doesn't make you look cool, only makes you look like a fool.
Narcoterrorist 6
You sound like the life of the party.
imtooshy 18
I'm someone that cares about animals!
FightMyLiger 19
#5- I know! Every time I see someone lift a baby over their head and go 'Weeeee!' I call social services on them. Then again, they're just babies... Cats need more careful care than babies, am I right?
michelleJ11 25
36, most parents I know do that to make their baby's laugh/happy. I wouldn't say calling social services on them is necessary, the parents are just playing with their kids.
FightMyLiger 19
#40 Sarcasm isn't for everyone, is it.
uoeno_fml 20
Every party needs a pooper that's why we invited him.
\ 28
animals seem to be given more attention than humans are. and animals can't pay taxes or go to college.
Jelbeztok 17
25 he wasn't hurting the cat, he just held it in the air..
BreynHope 11
Wow...
RoseBlack123 37
"Trying to be funny" well mission accomplished!
gameofthrones_fml 12
There should be a category for every FML that starts with the OP stating that they were "trying to be funny" or "trying to be cool"
DropTheDaggerxx 31
@65, there is a category for that! It's the "flop" tag.
challan 19
The circle of digestion.
FightMyLiger 19
The words catastrophe, kitten me, paws, mew, meow, feline, purrfect will now follow in typical variations.
TheDrifter 24
You've got to be kitten. Let's paws a meow-ment and think. I'm feline like that sort of comment would be a purrrfect cat-astrophe as over played as my favorite ball of string. What do mew think?
FightMyLiger 19
I think I want to catapult you into the air and shoot you with a catling gun. Then float your corpse out to sea on a catamaran.
FightMyLiger 19
Just kitten. Kind of
graceinsheepwear 34
Well 50, it's a good story, and I always enjoy a nice fluffy tail like that.
jw90 18
Hey it was still funny. So yea..MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
redstone7693 29
#10 is true everybody thumbs him up because most of the votes SAID that he deserves it.
Pleonasm 36
He proceeded to shit on your head to give you your Brown Crown and make you the Lion King.
darwinism 30
You have opened pandoras box by humiliating your cat like that. If it decides to hold a grudge, and it probably will, you should start praying for your soul. There is no wrath like that of a scorned cat!
TheDrifter 24
Hear, hear. Kittens of the world unite. Rise up against the rough handling giants that infest your houses and drive them far from your lands, past the litter box and across the asphalt ocean.