Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Damper
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML
Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
Scary
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML
Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML
How? Why? What?
Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
Ask him if his mouth has any connection to his brain. What an ass.
Jelbeztok 17
if i were you, im pretty sure i'd make him wait a while even after the two weeks.
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Comments (226)
Welshite 40
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ask him if there is anything wrong with his hand. He could be a bit more supportive and concerned for your condition.
michaelaranda 28
he may already be supportive and concerned, that's why hes thinking about ops mouth.
TheCrispyCat 20
do I downvote...
allie2590 31
Yes, downvote yourself.
LanceGoodthrust 19
Your fiancée wins the Internet. Sorry, but you didn't have to share this FML, and he's a ******* champ. FYL and your fiancées life rules.
IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24
You are the definition of an idiot. Seriously, the doctor said not to have sex for two weeks. She came on here for advice, and to share her story, not listen to an idiot say her boyfriend was right. I really doubt that if her inside lady parts are bleeding, that she wants to suck off her boyfriend.
IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24
@112
miasaur 11
you're a special kind of stupid, aren't you? @112
jayloopo 2
or maybe he can go else where
swaggalikethat 22
@112, like a hero..
Jabberwockyy 13
I agree with you @123 and @133 and I'm a guy myself. No reason to be a douche, two weeks isn't that long anyways.
perdix 31
#1, he'd probably reply that his hand was in good enough shape to grab the back of her head ;)
Zazoo1995 23
121 "lady parts are bleeding" Don't they do that every month?
hunts19ketchup 23
The cervix is not supposed to bleed. There are many different components to "lady parts"...
idknicholle 14
#112 you are a complete loser! its 2 weeks if he can't wait 2 weeks for someone he loves then it's not real love. It's not all about sex and games!
domolovesyoshi 33
I think there may be something else wrong other than a period, she said she found out she was bleeding from her cervix and that she has to refrain from sex that tells me there something worse than a period going on here
aemrynna 9
Actually the cervix is exactly where menstrual blood comes through. The cervix itself may not actually bleed but it is the doorway. How the OP managed to harm her cervix is beyond me but it must be incredibly painful. OP your bf is an ass. Hand him a bottle of lotion and tell him to enjoy.
elcee1987 18
That is always my response.
MortenM 17
It's a legit question from OPs boyfriend Imo
NinjaMouse 8
You guys seem fun at parties.
AloysiusWeasley 15
That, what a selfish POS.
thisisg 9
sounds like my husband
kristabelli 19
I hope you smacked him OP... and then laughed, because it IS pretty funny! :D (I laughed... it actually sounds like something my husband would say.)
shjenn 7
looooool mine too. hed def be supportive but would crack a few jokes for sure
Harpy20 24
Sounds like my ex-fiance. (no joke)
Paradoxxxx 16
Hope ya feel better soon :)
Jelbeztok 17
if i were you, im pretty sure i'd make him wait a while even after the two weeks.
DarthVader77 9
If I were me, you'd be looking for a new fiancé if you had tried.
Missyeru 14
But then you are punishing yourself too.
RussianRedneck16 3
110 it would be worth it though because op needs to be cared for and understood not disrespected
crudeandrudeguy 29
And I the only one who thought it was a valid question??
kmccain 27
@193. Yes.
rosha267 21
Bite him
ElricMustang 23
*Cringes as man parts retract back into my body*
nix1993 41
"They're never comin' down now!"
Jabberwockyy 13
#55 i had to laugh at that comment. I applaud you my good sir.
ComoEsJuan 24
Ask him if his mouth has any connection to his brain. What an ass.
zyperman43 19
Technically a mouth does have a connection with the brain
outoftown 27
59 - Not his, apparently.
luckyone365 7
71- Then he wouldn't be able to talk, genius.
hunts19ketchup 23
#75, That wasn't meant to be taken literally...
JoeyJaws68 18
That chain of comments was hilarious
infinitegrace 21
Feel better soon Op :)
Zimmington 21
Is there something wrong with your mouth? If so there's always anal
djkazic 5
I get the feeling many FML members made a similar pose to your profile picture when reading your comment.
Lisee92 18
#8's picture fits perfectly.
slimkelsey 17
Tell him if you don't get sex, he doesn't get sex!
Zimmington 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You sound just as selfish as her husband if not more
boating_guy 33
Great idea, and when she's pregnant, no action for 9+ months either. Good thing that won't strain their relationship
B1ackthesun 31
Ummm #15 pregnant women can have sex.... Apparently it can even help to induce labor at the end.
slimkelsey 17
#15 Believe it or not but most people don't need sex to maintain a healthy relationship. Not my fault you and #13 are as horny as rabbits in heat.
boating_guy 33
Not sure how keen I am on shoving my penis in a place right up towards where my future child's skull is... But again, that's just my opinion. Excuse me for making that assumption, as I have no firsthand experience with pregnant women
Zimmington 21
34- Just because she can't enjoy sex for 2 weeks doesn't mean her husband should be left dry too. Sure it would be considerate if he toughed it out with her but she could atleast offer to satisfy his needs 38- Please get educated sex with a pregnant woman in no way effects the child. You're making yourself look ignorant. Plus sex with a pregnant woman might be some of best sex you ever have.
SuperSofie 23
Two weeks abstinance is not unbearable, geez.. Perhaps she would've initiated another way herself, but I don't think that's the kind of reaction she thought of getting when coming home from the doctor..
TCRII 30
Two weeks is nothing. With my ex, I considered myself lucky if it was two months. Oh wait, she's my ex. Never mind...
hunts19ketchup 23
#38, that thing where people say that the baby can grab your penis when you're having sex with a pregnant woman? Yeah, that's not true.
animalxcrackers 20
@79, ...do people actually say out believe that? Seriously??
Angelic_Author 16
Unfortunately yes, people do believe that.
boating_guy 33
I know it's not actually possible to interfere with any development of the fetus if you have sex... I get how anatomy works. I've only heard of pregnant women not wanting sex, but on the flip side I guess there are many who want it. You obviously just don't here that because people don't broadcast their sex lives and sex drives. I didn't really think of that until now, my mistake. Regardless, I still just personally feel uncomfortable with the idea, just in principle. Even though I know it won't harm the fetus or the mother in any way. Maybe that will change later in life, but that's just how I feel about it now...
JesterJosh 5
These comments went full retard. Never go full retard.
SammyS2012 21
actually 109, women tend to be in the mood more when on theyre periods and even more so when theyre pregnant because of all of the hormones. of course there are many women who dont want to have sex whilst pregnant, but i believe it is a lot more common for the lady to want it badly
vewwe 20
#157 Yes during certain times of the pregnancy a womans sex drive can be higher. But when it comes to the period that is usually when the sex drive is low. It's when you ovulate, around 14 days before your period, that you feel like having a lot of sex. The body knows that during those few hours, that is when you can get pregnant.
Rodville 28
Is that why my wife only wants sex the week before her period?
KayleeFrye 39
Pregnant women can have sex. They just have to be careful about what positions they use as they're getting bigger.
SammyS2012 21
True, ovulation is another high peak is sexual arousal, I forgot about that one. Through research I also found the period to be another peak of arousal simply because of the change of hormones, but it's definitely not everyone, and definitely not everyday of the menstrual cycle. For example, during my worst days, I would rather punch my boyfriend in the face than be intimate. That's just me though.
measishouldbe 17
I doubt he would be helpful to her if he was the one out of action.
HJKM_fml 19
Say "No, but it has everything to do with you being a big dick!" If he doesn't get it, then forget about it and move on.
sarahbevan20 11
That could be taken as a compliment.... This asshole sounds egocentric. What he might hear is that his "big dick" caused the bleeding.... Wouldn't recommend saying that lol.