Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
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Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
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Comments (201)
Tehalon 0
You dont have to follow that advice (because all it is, is advice)..
Ribky 0
Pshaw, what do doctors know?
jewels_p 0
oral?
bearie_fml 0
Sex after marriage is a myth anyways..
happygirl_fml 0
aww :( that's terrible!!!
cheer_me_up 0
Yeah I am thinking that it wont actually kill you to have sex. Regardless you HAVE to have sex on your wedding night/honeymoon. Plus are you SURE that it would actually effect your blood pressure that much? I'd get a second opinion.
jessicaalvarado 0
haha wow that sucks big time. Eh well time flies!
ammali 0
How does everyone know this is a man? I looked around but didn't see any evidence--could have been a woman... Either way, that really sucks. I guess I'd do what has already been suggested, have some loving tender moments, and devote some energy to pleasing your partner and make it all about them just for a little while. They'll never forget it, or you, for that. Then, when you're better, go on a second honeymoon and get it onnnnn ;)
steflyn 0
lol I don't think many women would complain about being able to enjoy the vacation part of their honeymoon.
ellebell 0
bummer
hurr 0
#23 -- voting for both certainly IS NOT the same as not voting at all. First, "top" and "bottom" lists are calculated by maximum FML and YDI votes. Second, the proportion of FML to YDI votes can be significantly balanced by people voting for both. For example, if you take a hypothetical situation where a submission has 5 FML votes and 2 YDI votes -- that's a ratio of 2.5. If you vote once for each, it becomes 6 FML to 3 YDI -- a ratio of 2.0. And finally, it's not a binary opposition -- certainly you would agree that at times your life can be ******, but you deserve it, no? For example, if you got your 16-year-old Puritan girlfriend got pregnant, your life would definitely be ******. But you'd deserve it. Long live the double vote!