Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Scary
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Brain melter
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Damper
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Not feeling it
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Out of order
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Take a ticket
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Denied
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
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Comments (201)
magoo_fml 0
lol #20 is an idiot. sex shouldn't be the most important thing happening within the next month. congrats on finding the one. but that is harsh.
xanhorn 0
I clicked both, because it does suck, but you probably should have been taking better care of yourself. You should talk to the doctor about maybe getting meds to lower it. If your wife loves you, she will understand though :)
valuemeal2 1
#22-- what's the point of clicking both? That's the same as not voting at all. To the OP: that sucks, dude. You should see if you can get on some meds to lower your BP or something.
corey_kelly 0
so you have to choose between an intamit relation ship with you wife or being able to live... that sucks
bassmaster_pat 0
yeah so.... I should do it anyway
beccaisonnn 0
do it anyway.
breaksprinter_ 0
I'd do it anyway, you shouldn't let that ruin your wedding night and honey moon, just lay off it when you get back home I guess.
Etc80 0
Bleh, that does suck bigtime. Sorry, man. And #17 is an ass.
gizzmo 0
You can lower your blood pressure by eating tons of varied vegetables, whole foods (not white), and make sure that the sodium content in the things you buy are equal or lower to the calories. :> It's sodium that mostly affects high blood pressure! Watch the salt you eat, and don't go to many restaurants as they add tons of salt as well! Instead of the doctor, go and talk to a nutritonist instead. Blood pressure is affected by diet, after all. In a week or two your blood pressure will be much lower and you can have sex again :DDb
blondie45 21
Exercise helps lower blood pressure! Stop stressing and start shagging😂
lesb_lv 0
And how did u get so high blood pressure? Arent u too fat? If thats the reason, then YDI