Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (201)
Dubstep_fml 1
Just do it. it'll be totally trippy
Super_Vegetto 0
Foreplay w/Cheerios!!! Oatmeal too if you're that kinky. Dry oatmeal makes you da man!!!!!
SammieStar 0
It would've been much worse if you had remained a virgin waiting for the 'one'. Not that waiting until you're married is bad, but in your case, it sucks. For your fiancé, however, it doesn't (I mean that literally)
WhoAreYou94 0
sex lowers blood pressure so why would you be told NOT to have sex? I THINK THIS STORY IS A LOAD OF SHIT
mockingjay_fml 0
that's ok .. I guess it's kinda disappointing , but at least you'll get to spend quality time with your wife , even though it's not the type of "quality time" you were thinking of : P
nateman18 0
that's funny as hell
j4ym4n 2
unfit loser
linzeylou 0
that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. good luck pal. If I was your girlfriend I would be extremely pissed off
journeyoflife 0
lol. were you seriously thinking of not having sex. **** the blood pressure.
evi661 0
oh please your not going follow that