Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML
Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML
Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML
Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML
Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML
Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML
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Top comments
Leviathan_fml 0
ouch. have sex anyway.
KPACOTKA 0
YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG
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Comments (201)
RedCrow 0
Here's what you do my friend, Step 1: wait Step 2: profit.
shananay2000 7
Well than maybe you could celebrate after two months
wubbazugg 5
Go out with a bang!
jnazzty 4
So? Get your duck sucked
giggitygoo12 7
Guess you will just be playin monopoly ay ?
yamada_kei 2
That can't be true... Unless you're 800 lbs and has a blood pressure of 280/210
DLT_fml 20
Risk it! Die happy! Lol.
Yessi_Boo 14
F that! Ask for prescriptions that lower blood pressure!
kykyred 10
Then don't be such a fatass
eatenByZombies 1
Because you are getting married, it automatically means you have to have sex. Definitely.