Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Bobby M
Ireland
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
dawg3360
Canada
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Ciara
Cork, Ireland
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Luna
Carmel, United States
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Kurda
Wallburg, United States
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Tickdick
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
man-period?
Portland, United States
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Becks
The spirit of John Lennon
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
inosehowthatgotthere
United States
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Anonymous
Singapore
Newbie
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Top comments
melliemoo17 6
Wtf?!
Doortje 30
Oh dear. You DO know you need to clean your dong, right?
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Comments (230)
harof1c 0
Ewwwww you should get that cut off
skyeyez9 25
I am assuming you clean your junk regularly? But this is a freak one time incident where a bug squeezed underneath there while you were asleep? Or it could be a pubic crab and they are all over there?
handsfree 2
Dude take a shower more often
bowser_rawr16 13
Reminds me of "The Mummy" with all the scarabs!
BunBunBabe 8
So gross and traumatizing
willitz787 3
I'm sorry but that's just f**ked up...
soupisyummy 13
Maaaaybe, it isn't OP's fault.. It might have come from his girlfriends woo hoo if you know I mean . Hahaha
chels1994 11
I think I would have passed out... even for someone who doesn't have a penis this is extremely disturbing
jbloogle 10
Well just imagine a bug up in your lady parts haha.
chels1994 11
Mother of God that's so disturbing
HeyMondayAddict 4
Your crotch must be like a jungle!
Zora55 2
I have to say in my opinion uncircumcised looks gross