Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Bobby M
Ireland
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
dawg3360
Canada
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Ciara
Cork, Ireland
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Luna
Carmel, United States
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Kurda
Wallburg, United States
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Tickdick
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
man-period?
Portland, United States
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Becks
The spirit of John Lennon
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
inosehowthatgotthere
United States
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Anonymous
Singapore
Newbie
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Top comments
melliemoo17 6
Wtf?!
Doortje 30
Oh dear. You DO know you need to clean your dong, right?
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Comments (230)
TheEpicMilkMan 13
dude come on clean yourself when you shower D:
silentblack 0
Have u heard of Circumcise?
idocuzican 3
ummm, smegma snack!
Punchy79 3
I think I just vomited in my mouth a little!
j_cat187 20
Cool, did you eat it?
Pandacupcakelove 26
That's not even funny. You are a very sick person.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Holy crap! that's more than i needed to know! Ewwwwwwwww DX
Melly8 6
People telling him to get circumcised: circumcision is a procedure forced upon male babies that can decrease sexual pleasure later in their lives. In this case, the risks far outweigh the "benefits" that everyone seems to think exist. Just clean under there and you'll be fine. Circumcision isn't needed.
br0ccoli 15
Bugs need homes too.
griffy14 9
Ok, so I guess I was the only person on here not concerned with him cutting off part of his penis or his personal hygeine. I would recommend buying a can of Raid and cleaning your filthy ass house. My house is clean and I've never found a bug in my bed, much less my dick. WTF is wrong with you people? Positive note OP, atleast you have a foreskin for it to get into?
sydneyaval 9
K that's just gross....Heard of hygiene?