Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Bobby M
Ireland
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
dawg3360
Canada
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Ciara
Cork, Ireland
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Luna
Carmel, United States
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Kurda
Wallburg, United States
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Tickdick
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
man-period?
Portland, United States
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Becks
The spirit of John Lennon
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
inosehowthatgotthere
United States
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Anonymous
Singapore
Newbie
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Top comments
melliemoo17 6
Wtf?!
Doortje 30
Oh dear. You DO know you need to clean your dong, right?
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Comments (230)
wooley29 8
The best part of this FML are the responses. You guys made my day!
kyliemckee 3
why...isn't that cut off..
373737373737 0
Ur not getting that in anywhere
lfrye 6
That's why you wear pants when you go in the woods.
craftyones 0
Ugh. WTF over. Why even share that with others. I wonder what was going through your HEAD when you did. But I'll pass
dgies8 8
Mmmm yummy XP
julijohn 0
Hahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG that's hilarious. What kind of bug?
jsprackman 11
Scarabs!
mommy_mode 3
So grosssss
PixelNoob 11
I will now be forever terrified of uncircumcised penises. Thanks, OP T.T