Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Bobby M
Ireland
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
dawg3360
Canada
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Ciara
Cork, Ireland
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Luna
Carmel, United States
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Kurda
Wallburg, United States
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Tickdick
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
man-period?
Portland, United States
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Becks
The spirit of John Lennon
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
inosehowthatgotthere
United States
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Anonymous
Singapore
Newbie
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Top comments
melliemoo17 6
Wtf?!
Doortje 30
Oh dear. You DO know you need to clean your dong, right?
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Comments (230)
melliemoo17 6
Wtf?!
SmoshFan6 0
Mothra strikes again!
DrDilllonReese 12
Its been that long? Were there cobwebs too?
goldfishgod 20
Oh my ******* god. AND I THOUGHT FINDING A BEE IN MY HAIR WAS BAD.
VictoriaSchultz 8
Just hope there's not two and they start making babies. Nasty af!
tygerarmy 35
Was it alive?
kodyrsswanson 6
Poor bug :(
kooochris1995 14
What kind of bug too? That's nasty *cleveland voice*
thebeautybleeds 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And that's why you get circumcised.
Rectumended 3
WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE !!
blackheart24 10
**** my life for taking five minutes just to tap on this FML!!!!! Gah!!
BarDownDaily 12
95- Hit one of the ones below it, then use the arrow keys on the top right of the screen.
skullcandifiedDJ 5
Holy Mother of jesus... I would've like instantly committed suicide on the spot
spazz666 18
Do you SHOWER?
DooleyFTW 17
How does that even happen? That's disgusting, id immediately circumcise myself!
Idonebeenhad 17
OH GOD
urdirtyolduncle 15
Seems like you, my friend, have inevitably ****** a bug to death.
mboehm88 3
Sounds like the bug just needed a warm place to sleep.
kyarush 10
That's rough
Cad6 24
Has it been "bugging" you for a while?
biglittlehead 12
That really sucks op I hope it didn't bite you.
UnluckyIrishKid 9
That is absolutely disgusting... Crabs!
emmaa3451 11
A crab isn't a bug. FYI.
RussianFox 13
Crabs is a term for pubic lice.
Jonkbaby 23
oh for real.. sh!t ain't ever eatin crab AGAIN
br0dawg 6
16 - Yes it is. FYI. :/
Jonkbaby 23
doesn't matter.. had sex
br0dawg 6
damn, too late to edit. anyway, 16, we're talking about the parasitic insects on pubes, not a sea-dwelling crab. but 22 already sorta covered that, heh
Alleged_Cranium 7
Not crabs, blowflies. Damn necrophile.
Llamacod 11
Crab lice or, for short, crabs are bugs. But they live in pubic hair not under foreskin
TraceCase_ 19
Was it a tick maybe? I've heard of ticks attaching to areas like the armpits and groin. Maybe this one took it to the extreme.
RedPillSucks 33
What? The "Love" tick?
liv2laugh721 0
Shit Never gonna get it in with that there
upyourzlolz 11
Well, at the very least, OP's dick makes someone happy.
Llamacod 11
A bug isn't a person, so its not someone but a something
lululu333 7
Why are people thumping down Llamacod? Isn't correct?
xcarxcrashx 9
Yeah 188 but nobody likes a know it all.
RBntM 10
How did it get there? :s
ninjaniki 0
I was always told not to put my fingers in a hole I couldn't see into (in case of spiders). I guess that means penises too. :/
jizzwold 21
Holy shit, you have been putting your fingers INSIDE of penises?
iloveqts 8
Hardcore fingering.......on a guy?
PvtParts417 15
Docking maybe?
Calyx_fml 22
It was the CIA.
emmaa3451 11
How the hell does that even happen??! Bro ...get that checked out..!
AJMILLERMAN 2
Who has foreskin?
EduJav321 24
Everyone not white or jewish
Doortje 30
Oh dear. You DO know you need to clean your dong, right?
Fruit_Dealer 9
It reminds me of my cousin (7 years old) who I had to educate into doing it since his dad left and my aunt didn't tell him... It was awkward but much better than bugs >.
Dracoboxer357 36
180- Kudos to you for stepping up into the parental role for your cousin. Awkward or not, it's great that you bothered to help. :)
ryannroxers 5
Thats so disgusting
ladyLALAA 29
I know! I wish I never read this...
CookieGirl4ever 13
9 you stole my picture when I'm not on here! v-.-" Lol. :p
hollie77 6
how in the f....do you even let that happen. Haha, I wonder what other suprises you or some unlucky women will come across.
Tits_N_Turbos 20
By the look of your profile pic you aren't old enuf to be bothered about stuff like that!
KriiFahMoro 9
Youre on the internet now, you can say **** if you want to.
btstig 11
It's not unusual to be loved by anyone. Awesome pic.
Insane_Tea 15
This is the internet. Where love and hope dies. And people can bury a little girl for trying to censor ****. I LOVE IT.
hollie77 6
Okay, I am definitely old enough to not be naive about sexual content. So sorry, your negative comment is worthless. I come here for obvious reasons , and when people like you take the time to comment back on an actual comment....good god, who even gives a **** ?
DocBastard 40
Hollie, when you feed a troll, you give him exactly what he wants. Be better than he is and ignore him. I, on the other hand, am not his intended target, so I can say "Piss off, you ******* twat.. She was just trying to be polite, which is more than I can say for either of us. Asshole."
CryMoreFMLs 15
65 - Apparently the people who commented give a ****. Because they wouldn't comment if they didn't. And by thay logic, you give a **** about people commenting on your comments.
canonite 7
You are my hero :) I love people like you. :)
jbloogle 10
I love Docs comments.
spazz666 18
Doc, your comments always make me smile. ^-^ When I read the second half of your comment I read it in ZeroPunctuation's voice because you said piss off. (he's a video game reviewer if you guys don't know who he is, and he's funny as ****. Demons souls is my favorite of his reviews of you wanna check it out ;D)
foodlova 9
May cas it's so dusty haven't done the nasty in a while?
Dajucy1 7
English translation?
jizzwold 21
Maybe this is because your penis is so dusty. Have you not had sexual intercourse in a while?
deathpotato 11
Maybe because your penis is so dusty, you have not partaken in the nasty in quite some time.
deathpotato 11
You beat me to it by 3 seconds.
iamyummylicious 14
Or you know 3 minutes.
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe cats haven't been dusty or nasty in a long while... What? My translation is just as good as theirs... oh! you meant accurate translation.... sorry.