Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, as someone with a large chest, I'm used to sometimes finding food in my clothes at the end of the day. However, when I took off my bra off, I found half of a dead grasshopper. FML
Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
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Top comments
daddycaitlin 13
Wait. Not a huge deal?? How are you used to having bugs in your bra? I could never.
JoanT 11
Everyone but you
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Polynipples! I hope you have pictures for us.
JoanT 11
Everyone but you
RichardPencil 32
So, you've seen them? C'mon, do me a solid -- forward me the pics!
JoanT 11
Dude I’m the author and **** no even if I had pics I wouldn’t send them you
RichardPencil 32
Are you Becks or JoanT or both? Don't be stingy.
Darlene King 3
Can you say that fast 3 times? Black blister beetle Black blister beetle Black blister beetle
daddycaitlin 13
Wait. Not a huge deal?? How are you used to having bugs in your bra? I could never.
JoanT 11
I live in Hawaii bugs are so common, plus I grew up with so many brothers they never bother me until they give you painful water blisters on the boobs
RichardPencil 32
Do I want to know how your brothers give you "painful water blisters" on your boobs? Uh, ... no. If you'll share your tittie pics with everyone in the world but me, I certainly don't want to know what your brothers do to your boobs.
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
"The spirit of John Lennon"? C'mon guys, that's not a funny title.
jkjorn 18
Took me a while to get it, it's a little obscure. (hint: google "I GOT BLISTERS ON ME FINGERS!")
voodoo66 5
sounds like the bug went to second base with you