Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Bobby M
Ireland
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
dawg3360
Canada
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Ciara
Cork, Ireland
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Luna
Carmel, United States
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Kurda
Wallburg, United States
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Tickdick
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
man-period?
Portland, United States
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Becks
The spirit of John Lennon
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
inosehowthatgotthere
United States
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Anonymous
Singapore
Newbie
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Top comments
melliemoo17 6
Wtf?!
Doortje 30
Oh dear. You DO know you need to clean your dong, right?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (230)
Jonkbaby 23
doesn't matter had sex
jbloogle 10
You don't know this.
thiscrazything 1
Damn, where have you had that thing?
DocBastard 40
If by "bug" you mean an insect, I'd suggest you clean your junk. If by "bug" you mean a covert listening device, then you're probably truly ******.
Jannettecooks 1
I'm picturing the Mounties sneaking up on him and bugging his junk.
Jannettecooks 1
Oh and your comment was clever... I'm confused by the dislikes :/
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
This is how it happened, guys. OP was browsing the wares in his local supermarket when a prostitute sauntered up and offered "assistance". OP was feeling adventurous, so he gave up on one primal desire in lieu of another. He didn't quite unleash the beast, though, because several men on horseback intercepted the couple and all OP has to remember the incident by is this tiny bug in his foreskin. Moral of the story: Never go outside. Canadian Mounties will bug your genitals.
RedPillSucks 33
hide yo kids, hide yo wife... they be bugging yo junk. they bugging yo junk!
KriiFahMoro 9
No funny Adam Sandler noise could describe how disgusted I am right now. I think I'm gonna go take a bleach bath.
Jannettecooks 1
He was there for the cheese.
perdix 31
Was it one of those biting and sucking insects? Because if so, you should pay it fi' dollah. I'll bet this story is going into the advertising for Mohels R Us.
KriiFahMoro 9
What, you've never heard of dick bugs before?
Blue_np5 5
Dont u pull it back n wash!!!! Ickyy
kaywhyjay 2
take a shower?! gross
peaceout7247 1
How does a bug get under ur foreskin
Llamacod 11
I'm just guessing here but probably crawled there