Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
The spirit of John Lennon
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Newbie
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Top comments
melliemoo17 6
Wtf?!
Doortje 30
Oh dear. You DO know you need to clean your dong, right?
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Comments (230)
VoteForTaco 8
DISGUSTING! Thanks for the image D:
emmaa3451 11
Need more details... Was it dead or alive??
tklone329 0
Does it matter?
GreenAppleDP 0
Haha. I'm not sure if I prefer to know if it's dead, or alive. Decisions decisions.
WOGBRO 6
Well at least it died having a good rub on its back every night
KittyWantMilk 4
I'd get that checked out..
GreenAppleDP 0
Okay, I just want to say this had to have been one of the hardest FMLs I had ever tried to get into.
taerts 9
I just found out - there's this little arrow on the right side when trying to get into short FML's :)
sqeakyclean 7
This is one of the most disgusting FMLs ever. I'm going to go vomit now...
somewizdom 15
If this happens again, you should get circumcised.
theman1432 0
How does he deserve it?
mel_aka_mic 5
Because he didn't take care of his personal hygiene.. How else would you get bugs in there??
bubbaTnelson 15
dummy