Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML
Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, my husband warned me we had a yellowjacket swarm move into our basement. He wasn't kidding. I'm phobic after I was swarmed as a kid, I'm watching our bug zapper literally smoke with how many it's killing, and my can of wasp spray seems woefully insufficient. They can have the house! FML
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Top comments
Kiki242 19
Suit up and get those bastards.
ArmadilloW 6
you make them sound like evil genius', also I hope your stings get better, try holding some folded kitchen towel soaked in cold water on them.
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Comments (125)
ArmadilloW 6
you make them sound like evil genius', also I hope your stings get better, try holding some folded kitchen towel soaked in cold water on them.
ArmadilloW 6
Not sure if that's how you say the plural of genius, ironic
theHIGHroad2 5
You saw that coming human, nobody messes with our home an walks away freely. Sincerely, A mad Hornet.
BossPathfinderGM 14
Since you mentioned it yourself, "geniuses".
Kiki242 19
I guess that huge water hose would do the job.
Futacy 30
*Hornets: Bitch, I dare you.* LOL
Marrach 7
No, try Adobo for the stings (Its a seasoning) but it works.
TheGreatAlexande 12
Or genii if you want to be fancy. ;D
loopsy_fml 14
At least there not tracker jackers........
zebraumicornz 6
Or put some honey in you tea right in front of them while they are watching. Revenge is sweet!*evil laugh*
zebraumicornz 6
Or put some honey in you tea right in front of them while they are watching. Revenge is sweet!*evil laugh*
rockaroths 15
I'm not trying to be the technical person here but, they are staying probably because of the vibrations, or they really could be watching you...
drewcat21 0
Put mud on the stings. Works like a charm. I've never tried the other stuff.
Codezlol 21
28 are you kidding? Shoot higher, I'm talkin' flamethrower!
itsame0987 18
Try wet tobacco on the stings. It works great for bee stings.
DippinGrizzly907 27
Oh man. If those were tracker jackets you'd be having one hell of a time buddy
Kiki242 19
Suit up and get those bastards.
footballfreak65 6
I agree! Get a bottle of axe and a lighter and ******* roast them!
AKGirlinSD 20
Or, if they are allergic like I am, I'd call the fire department. It happened to me before but I managed to see them before I walked outside. The craziest part was that there were two nests, three feet away from each other.
Psych101 9
24- You called the fire department to get rid of hornet's nests? Is that in their job description?
AKGirlinSD 20
In San Diego, yes. I called the managers office and they told me to call the fire department. Plus, I wasn't the only one who was allergic to them. An ambulance tagged along in case someone did get stung. No one did :).
Inheritance 10
Kidding me suiting up won't work you need ******* ironman for this shit!
DobGriffen 8
**** the suit, all you need is a flamethrower! Or some all purpose Lysol spray. Kills germs AND suffocates hell spawns
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
Fun fact: Lysol was the most popular form of birth control in the 20's. They also marketed it as a youth potion... with almost the exact same formula as they use today. Apparently so many people died of chemical burns or were sickened that the company switched owners and became a cleaning product.
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
Time for the flamethrower.
Tankkiller308 16
#80 kills germs and mistakes the all in one youth potion
jmadams97 5
******' hornets
Soloman212 28
Sounds erotic yet painful.
RedPillSucks 33
erotic? WTF
Soloman212 28
The ******* of hornets, that is.
domking1315 20
Perverted state of mind...
GoodLookingGeese 10
Just plug off the damn mower!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I ****** a hornet once. They're very selfish lovers. And they never call back.
gc327072 31
Me so hornet.
buying_mace 5
Wait until night and pour some diesel fuel on their nest. That will kill them quick. I had to do that with the yellow jackets near my house.
gc327072 31
Why diesel? Just curious.
buying_mace 5
My Papaw always told me that the oil coated their wings and smothered them and push come to shove you can just light it and run like all hell.
bdubbstheman 5
And then light it on fire
stormchaser24 24
Don't use diesel, it will get into ground water.
ryanmcknz33 0
Diesel is cheaper
realSlimjimShady 7
Use chevron with tecron plus
IscoreOnU 19
70-it's like 1 cup of diesel it'll go in the hole kill them and not get anywhere near ground water...
onlychildFTW 34
A little diesel won't harm the ground water. Plus people don't use wells much anymore.
zakkcarter 7
100- millions of people use wells. I have one as well as everyone that lives around me.
GuessWhatKids 13
Or do it the fun way, with a baseball bat. No, I'm not kidding.
GoingCommando93 14
Or get hornet killer.
Tankkiller308 16
Screw all that get some tannerite and blow the shit out of them
Askzombie 14
Smart ass hornets.....
nightwing2 3
It's the planets of the insects. Quite literally as the outnumber humans by a large ratio
zombiekitten87 12
Or else the handle smells like you and they're still mad.
minidinosaurgoes 9
Hornets know how to use technology, and you are screwed
olpally 33
Reminds me of the family guy episode where Peter and the gang try to be like jackass on tv... Quagmire puts honey on his dick and Peter shoves him while all the bees are on Quagmire's junk, lol.. This is way worse though.. I hope you're okay op.
luckyliv 5
haha! i just looov family guy!!:p
whosindahouse 9
102- I bet you dooo
CrewBoy 10
Don't be a pansy. Go out and fight them. Throw some haymakers. Actually, they would rock your shit, so I would stay inside in the feeble position until they decide to let you off with a warning.
trippythehippy 6
The feeble position? Hmm
gantoman 13
Fight fight like it's the last last night of your life life show them your bite! But seriously, don't bite them...
kristabelli 19
Hee hee... the "fetal" position, 14? :)
CrewBoy 10
Bad part is that I originally had "fetal" but I just swore it didn't look right.... *facepalm* I done ****** up.
jjhaston 2
Feeble?! This isnt skateboarding!
kristabelli 19
It's ok, your comment ruled otherwise!
xKites 4
I would clothe myself head to toe and grab the best hornet spray.