Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML
Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML
Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML
Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML
Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé had responded to an online missed connection posting. He has been emailing, exchanging pictures and making plans to go out with this girl. We are supposed to be married in the fall and just put down the non-refundable deposit on our reception site. FML
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Top comments
chesoes 8
Hey those songs were actually pretty nice (:
x_KL_x 7
Sounds like he ain't the sharpest tool in the shed...
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Comments (213)
comedybreak 20
LOL. He's a keeper. FYL
So2011 4
He put effort into starting his vows. At least the vow book wasn't empty.
outch_fml 0
How many times did I read " he/she's a keeper" come on guys it's getting old...
n_epic_fail 14
Were you hoping for the Barnie theme song? Personally I liked the Shrek sound track...
cupcakesnpot 9
YOU SUCK!
Yousuck24 21
You called 28?
LunaDragon 10
Look at the bright side Op, at least it wasn't a song from Miley Cyrus, Rebecca Black, or Justin Beiber.
t765234 10
47-Smashmouth isn't much better.
duckie227 22
74- oh yes they are
LunaDragon 10
Seems like #74, has their thumb and their finger in the shape if an L. Hey now im I'm an all-star.
blackheart24 10
Noo #74 just ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
PoeSlayer 0
Give him a break, we could all use a little change.
t765234 10
Oh, sorry, I forgot fml is full of idiots.
musicluvr2000 11
Ugh that damn comment again!
blackheart24 10
144- then why don't you get off and there will be one less?
Wicked361 8
41- I think you just made an FML just to do that...
chesoes 8
Hey those songs were actually pretty nice (:
BatteryAddict 11
I'm going to watch a Shrek marathon. Who's with me? :)
sonrisapreciosa 6
"I thought love was only true in fairy tales..."
ghm1234 0
"SomeBody once told me the world I gonna roll me.I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. And she was looking kind dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead(drum, drum)..."
perdix 31
"I don't give a damn about my bad reputation..."
ScaughtieHolden 11
Not quite, 70..
CamWattsTheProbl 0
wasn't accidentally in love by counting crows on that soundtrack?
jonagoo 8
My beloved monster - eels
desireev 18
Then I saw her face! Now I'm a believer! Not a trace!... A doubt in my mind! I'm in LOVE!! Oooooo aaaaaah! I'm a believer! I couldn't leave her if I tried!!
betticonfetti 7
"Baby I have been here before I know this room, I've walked this floor I used to live alone before I knew you. I've seen your flag on the marble arch Love is not a victory march It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah"
Whitesound 3
Somebody once told me there world was gonna roll me. I aint the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kinda dumb with her fiber and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead. Well the years start coming and they dont stop coming. back to the rules and I hit the ground running. didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. so much to do so much to see so what's wrong with taking the backstreets. you'll never know if you don't go. Go! You'll never shine if you dont glow. Hey now.... (I'm on my phone, I typed all this with a touchscreen...)
laurbear12 3
Love Jeff Buckley
perdix 31
#135, good for you, but Shrek uses the John Cale version of Hallelujah.
deviable 9
Any version of hallelujah is a good song, but not for vows, since it's about an old couple that fell out of love.
SmallyBigs 9
"Tomorrow.. I'm making Waffles!"
RaggleFrock 13
Darling I do- Landon Pigg
mangjose21 2
"See the pyramids along the Nile..." :]
grahambertus 11
"never gonna give you up..."
nerobluerose 10
I think all of you are wrong. I think he chose the song by the dolls welcoming people to the castle.
nado13579 12
"I'm accidentally in love" has GOT to be on there!
x_KL_x 7
Sounds like he ain't the sharpest tool in the shed...
G0v3nat0r 7
Thats what she gets for peeking! Plus, he will almost certainly come up with something great by the time of the wedding.
finished 10
^^ or not :)
stevenJB 25
Some of the most useful tools are dull! >:( sadness
wlddog 14
She has no trust in him if she has to peek, them throw a big fit about it.
Zya_fml 8
I see what you did there, 3.
ohSNAPyall 27
43 Right! Like a.. spoon?
Gringe 1
Seriously? Who keeps spoons in their tool shed?
philipino 24
Uh, Gringe, how did you go from idiot to smart in 2 minutes? Why weren't you just smart the whole time?
freakinglaugher 10
68- A serial killer who likes blood cereal.
ChilledDubstepa 6
Quite the clever comment #3.
nerfnidalee 17
You are my favourite person
Musicholic_asey 1
It's not that bad. At least it isn't blank.
icrest80 4
Blank or not, he could just make some corny shit up and it'd still work. That's probably what he was planning on doing but she just HAD to snoop
CaptainSlow 2
That is supposed to be a surprise. It's like opening your Christmas gifts before Christmas. YDI for sneaking.
loserboii 11
You can be his green female ogre and live in a place far far away!
ClassyCommando 13
What's the term for a female ogre? Ogrette?
Zya_fml 8
I believe it's " Ogresse" or something like that.
emba_fml 13
Ogress.
a_purple_orange 4
Well you better be a believer.....
GoWithTheFro 10
There's not a trace of doubt in my mind about it.
Wicked361 8
I'm in love oohh I'm a believer I couldn't leave her if I tried
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
THEN I SAW HER FACE!!! Now I'm a believer! Hey! Hey! Not trace!!! Of doubt I'm my mind!!!
jessaiee 17
Did you mean fiancé?
daisyismydog 3
It was pretty clear to everyone who read it what it was...
jessaiee 17
It was finance at first, but the FML got edited. Sorryyy.
clm123455 14
Way to be, 63!
Pentium_4 27
isn't that bad luck?
madison8895 11
It's better than nothing.
Goatinsfriend 8
That's what you get for looking! Tsk Tsk.
mattorama 15
Seriously. It always amuses me when people snoop and find things they don't like, then complain about it. MYOB and everything will be fine!