Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her, "Just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and then turned to me to yell, "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML
Today, we were slowly introducing my daughter to the pool to help her get over her terrible fear of water. My father-in-law scoffed, called us pussies, and tossed my daughter straight into the water. When I threw him out, he insisted he was just trying to teach her to swim "the right way." FML
Today, my mother came up to me at swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, my younger sister and I were camping when, during the middle of the night, she asked me if I could take her to the toilets as she was scared. I told her to go by herself or go behind the tent. Thirty seconds later, she peed on me. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML
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Top comments
twenty2182 0
...and everyone swam away
bambi77 0
by an anonymous man?
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Comments (140)
twenty2182 0
...and everyone swam away
kewlcat 0
why did it say mom when you're a man
Imawhalerider 0
because it was the father dummass
englishmuffin 0
Are you calling the daughter an "it?"
MsTs1 0
because the man, OP, is a fagget , or how gays say, a homosexual
girandwogpig 0
....how can he be gay if he has a daughter? Just wondering....
Sambo110 0
Are you serious #58? Wow...
christopherlove 0
Wow, 38, 45, 46 and 58 all fail hard.
SoFaded80 0
lol or is it u whos the dumBass
persiancutie 0
i agree why does it say MOM if he is a man?!
Terilyn4500 0
thast what i was wandering too
divineinstrument 2
SO DAMN CONFUSED!!! Here are the possibilities in order of likeliness: 1) The dad (OP) told his daughter to pee in the lake, but the daughter still asked the question to her mum 2) The OP is a woman, and accidentally clicked 'man' when typing the FML 3) The OP accidentally typed "MOM" instead of "DAD" Even if two homosexual men have a kid (which is possible #58. Ever heard of adoption? Surrogacy would be another option I guess), I doubt the kid would call one of the men "dad" and the other "mum". That just wouldn't make a jot of sense. More likely the kid would just call the men by their first name.
xxxerror 0
and didnt change the option from man to woman probably
regalarius 0
#85 - I have heard of that, though - the more effimiate one is referred to with feminine pronouns. Also, OP: YDI, that's not cool.
boogersyum 0
Maybe the mother came to the lake as well.
jisaac09 25
Well, im guessing that, like all good parents, this guy has never exposed himself to this little girl so she dont know if hes a man or not cause he wears women's clothing and uses the "Ladies" room..... So i say, ur a good transvestite for not reveling ur junk to kids, but maybe u should sit her down and have a little talk about "mommy" likes to go to gay bars, when shes old enough to know.....
xocourtxo 0
umm have you ever wondered maybe it could be the mother writting on er husbands account. ?
Alishmc 0
#58 ... dumbest reasoning... I have ever heard... ever.
fadingfaith 4
She could be adopted.
qwillis98 20
Why does every one assume they are gay?
Imawhalerider 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
never ever do that again. never.
NEkoiNU 18
Why not?
bartender_fml 0
Oooh man. You signed yourself up for that by having a kid though haha
bambi77 0
by an anonymous man?
dancin303 0
so it totally happened to someone else at the lake and he took this to make it his own. i dont believe its FAKE. its just not his fml. but dude change it to dad. or the person accidently selected man instead of woman
khatuba 0
maybe the dad told her to, but the kid asked her mom. nothing hard to understand, you guys.
blackbyrd 0
I am the person who wrote this FML... I chose anonymous, I am in fact a woman, therefore I am the MOTHER. Not a big freaking deal... I took my daughter to the lake, by myself. Everyone happy? Good.
jisaac09 25
Post-op or pre-op??? (lol, read prior post)
pokurfayce 0
ydi
gizmo_987 0
Wow, way to be a lazy parent. I agree, YDI
kirbz 0
never say stuff like that to your kids -.- think before you say
laurraaa_fml 0
why is the OP a man...?
Azellia 15
I noticed that too. Maybe she's using her husband's or boyfriend's account
razzumfrazzum 0
The kid's pee is probably the most sanitary thing in the lake so it really was ok. It does kinda suck that the kid wasn't aware of the fact that she was supposed to be discreet but hey she's a kid :D
diet_otaku 0
not to mention god knows how many other creatures pee in the lake on a daily basis. people pee in swimming pools all the time, i fail to see what the big deal is about peeing in a lake.
mash2 0
Does your kid call her mother 'daddy'?
thecrazyhotchick 0
I think you mean why does she call her father mom?
cutebebe778 0
LOL ^ I can't think of any reason why this would be an FML other than the fact that the OP's daughter calls her dad mommy..