Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
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Top comments
nic7973 23
i hate spiders!
jideare 3
The wind? Pfft! Maybe it was a ninja spider that despise the outdoors.
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Comments (151)
nic7973 23
i hate spiders!
So2011 4
YDI for being nice to a spider. Whenever you let a spider live, it goes and tells it's friend show nice you are. Next thing you know, your house will be full of spiders.
SAMMILLER098 2
I don't see why this is an FML...
n_epic_fail 14
**** THAT! I would have thrown that plate outside so fast that spider would have gotten whiplash... Then died.
noshatsherlockk 15
I would have flipped out, dude. That plate would be in pieces.
evilscorpi 29
i would have just washed the spider down the drain and is anyone weirded out by op's name?! o_0
MickGold 8
37- Not weirded out by it. Lmao at it. That's an amazingly random name, I love it!XD
ArcadePie 10
I used to help spiders until i took a spider to the eye
102Percent 5
I would put the plate outside. Cover it with gasoline. Throw a lit match in there. And watch and laugh.
A100893 30
I would've thrown that plate away like a frisbee on fire. **** spiders.
philipino 24
I would've stomped it! Dead space style! Gimme some goddamn ammo, bitch!
NokeyPlc 1
Finish him!
MrsPegg 45
@37: bacon & kittens. Two of life's greatest things!
CaptainSlow 2
Don't you think that is a bit harsh against the spiders? Imagine being a spider, living a perfectly normal life, until a human 100,000 times its size decides that the mere sight of it is reason enough to smash it against the ground. I'm not comfortable around spiders, but please, think about how many spiders you have killed, and compare that to the number of times you've been physically hurt by them. Also, having spiders in your house saves you from insect invasions, for example wall lice and ants.
nic7973 23
i hope you feel better for having said that. now please go outside and hug a tree. let me guess - you are a level 5 vegan as well?
baconandkittens 10
My name is not weird! Its the most awesomeness thing in the world. Two of the greatest things rolled into one epic username. :D
bioboy725 10
I agree with 108. I don't get why everyone just hates spiders. Most won't even bite you unless you're just being an idiot.
n_epic_fail 14
117- alleluia!!
GoingCommando93 14
I disagree. I'd say that baconandpuppies would be a better name. Dogs like humans, and they are loyal pets. It's been proven. Ate think everything is theirs. Also this is the 2nd time I've seen an OP reply to their post.
HannahMarshall 6
Just reading this made me shiver.
oppawoppa 9
Well. We all learned a valuable lesson. Don't be nice to spiders!
grovervac3000 15
Omg yes!!! It's kinda creepy!!!
comedybreak 20
Not a big deal.
auntiemomma 0
what the **** do you know?
ItsPersonal 6
Let's see you take a spider to the eye and see what you say then...
sydneyaval 9
2- Stop being a scaredy cat we all know that no one would appreciate that...
yahoowizard 16
....until a few days later when OP can start climbing walls and shooting web and stuff
xTheSceneQueenxx 0
I had one land on my boob while laying in my bed....
teentee401 37
Boob =/= eye
aliadnan708 6
Should've washed it down the drain. By the way hope ur eye is ok
periwinkle95 10
So let the spider kill you instead?
MedKits 9
Most spiders can't kill you..
HeartOnSleeves 8
except every spider can kill you except a daddy long legs.
gman90210 18
Was thinking the same thing
bioboy725 10
100, What the hell are you talking about? First, most spiders only cause slight nausea at worst, and second, daddy long legs are NOT spiders.
baconandkittens 10
My eye is fine, but the spider sure isn't >:D
Argenisjose 9
Karma is a B.I,T.C.H
ambowew 7
Not really karma, no.
XtraEzeee 8
I think your doing karma wrong. When you are nice, your supposed to be rewarded, not get an eye full of spider.
aliadnan708 6
Y did u put a comma after the "I" but not a period like all the other letters lol
XtraEzeee 8
I think your doing karma wrong. When you are nice, your supposed to be rewarded, not get an eye full of spider.
Zya_fml 8
20 - does it even matter?!...
EduJav321 24
You guys are wrong, she is technically right, it was just REVERSE karma! When you do something nice and Karma is still a bitch!
DevilsMetsGiants 30
Why do people always get punished for doing the right thing?
Dark__Angel66 24
I think we've learned from FML, don't be nice to spiders. They always come back to haunt the person somehow :P
bobchickenfart 5
"a good deed never goes unpunished."
asiandude801 4
Since when was saving a spider a good deed?
Goatinsfriend 8
I honestly would freak out and rampage trying to kill the spider.
loserboii 11
The only good spider is one beneath my cleates.
loserboii 11
The only good spider is one beneath my cleates.
jideare 3
The wind? Pfft! Maybe it was a ninja spider that despise the outdoors.
nic7973 23
Ninja spider...ROFL!
jideare 3
Think of it as the cat in your picture scaled down into a mean 8 legged piece of fury.
wlddog 14
That's what you get for letting it live. I hate spiders and kill every spider I see.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Gosh, guess what? Some people actually have a heart and don't kill spiders. Shocking, I know.
Tswift0806 3
There are plenty of spiders in this world, killing one wouldn't make a difference.
MedKits 9
There are plenty of people in this world, killing one wouldn't make a difference.
SPAIDZ 0
This is a war people. And it's comments like 36 & 80 that are the reason we are losing. Every spider makes a difference. And if you have a heart protect your fellow man and destroy those tiny eight legged bastards!