Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML
Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML
Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML
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Top comments
CheckOutYourBio 0
What the hell? Gawd, what a creeper. Beat his ass. You shouldn't lie out naked if you know there is a possibility that someone can see you though. YDI.
bummerd00de 0
Wow... what a creepy guy. But if your yard is fenced in, how did he get in the bushes?
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Comments (139)
shopping456xoxo 0
You learned your leason!
Me_You_Us 7
Did you? Spelling lesson maybe?
Edge578 0
How dare that asshole say Bless You. The nerve of people
bugmenotmofo 34
win
dwhitlock 6
You could take it as a complment
dspadres 0
Wrong bushes.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why FML shouldn't allow kids under 13 on the site. They write such moronic comments.
p00p0ster0us 0
To the person who said 'get him arrested and/or a restraining order' he was in HIS backyard. See, that's his backyard. He's supposed to be there. And she can't know how close to the bushes he was unless she was also in the bushes, which she wasn't. So even if he was looking, there's nothing to apply to a restraining order much less get the guy arrested. He shouldn't have been staring at the OP through the bushes but short of telling the guy she doesn't want him looking at her, there's not much to be done. There may be a law regarding the assumption of privacy but she'd probably still have to at least tell the guy to not look first, and she'd still have to prove he was looking. If she's lying on the grass, she could try putting two wooden stakes and a towel between them to ensure she's got privacy on that side. A little hassle but doable. Maybe she can write on a large white towel in fabric paint STOP LOOKING AT ME YOU CREEP.
popcorncomics 0
Idiot, it said clearly " From my bushes."
p00p0ster0us 0
I took that to mean tall bushes or a hedge in front of or behind the fence. That is, bushes directly connected to the adjacent yard. I don't know anyone with bushes in the middle of their yard.
ndvorsky 4
bushes covering her side of the fence are common
tristanfilups 0
I swear to god there was another FML just like this not long ago. It may not have had the topless-in-the-backyard situation, but the part about a person who was not expected to be there saying "bless you" was exactly the same.
I_am_stupid_also 6
How many FMLs are there that go "Today, I was wiggling my butt for this hot guy. It was going great until I noticed my tampon string was showing. FML"
Animati0n 0
Don't lay topless in your backyard. -_-
tacospaceman 2
thats terrible that guy is a perv report him for peeping anyways that really does suck i feel sorry for you if i were you i'd go over there and beat his ass.
Trollkiller 0
fake fake fake same old fml slightly modified