Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML
Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML
Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML
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Top comments
CheckOutYourBio 0
What the hell? Gawd, what a creeper. Beat his ass. You shouldn't lie out naked if you know there is a possibility that someone can see you though. YDI.
bummerd00de 0
Wow... what a creepy guy. But if your yard is fenced in, how did he get in the bushes?
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Comments (139)
giganticbrain 0
Today, I was doing something naked, and then I saw somebody looking at me and I felt disgusted with them, but mostly with myself because I'm a lazy asshole who thinks the world revolves around me....but I'll never tell anyone that. FML
time4coffee 3
She may even be using the bushes as the "fence"
kukopia 0
You didn't see him in the bushes, means he didn't see you. He just happened to be in his back yard, heard you sneeze and did the honoroable, right thing of saying 'bless you'. I despise when women are prejudice against men. Don't be a douche and he might not be a creeper. Someday you may need him to jump-start your car or un-clog your garbage disposer. P.S. Even if he did get a peek at your perkies, big deal. They're no worse for the where.
positivity 0
On the positive side: At least your creepy stalker-neighbour is polite.
owtom78 0
That's horrible! I'm sorry. But don't lay out naked
_jdreaming 0
rflmao! That pervert
Bullshet 0
FYL because...your neighbor is a creep. Then again, for all I know, he may have just been in his backyard doing something else and heard you sneeze. YDI because why the hell are you laying around outside topless when you have neighbors right there? I sure as hell wouldn't trust any of them enough to believe they won't look. I mean you do take that risk when you go parading around outside topless.
silentmusic 0
lolololol i couldnt stop laughing. and yeah i remember the other oine like that too
xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0
Thet is kinda creepy, but in his defense, you were topless in your backyard. I probably would have watched you, but only for like a minute. Then I would take a picture of it and go back inside.
dramatized423 0
this sounds exactly like a movie i saw recently, only it was inside instead of outside