Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

Baked

Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

#blessed

Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML

Take the compliment

Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML

Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML

Behave yourselves

Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML

Heatwave

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML