Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I sneezed while getting my keys from my pocket on the way to my front door, dropped them into a storm drain, and then had to explain to my landlord that my reason for needing the spare key was "seasonal allergies." FML
Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML
Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML
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Top comments
joonsson 21
If you live in a sane country you don’t have to let your landlord in. And they have no right to control who you have over.
wanted_2_want 40
Did you say "thank you" to yourself? If not, you need to be more polite.
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Comments (25)
MidnaLink 35
Who blesses themself after sneezing?
008GGG 14
It seems Loney does...
Dark♡Twisty 8
I liked you because of your profile picture, then I read your rude comment
raven_of_azarath 35
I do. I sneeze, then say “bless me”
Matys_16 9
I do that all the time, when I'm home. 😂
3ziam3lia 14
I say “bless me” all the time. I live alone 🤷🏽♀️
wanted_2_want 40
Did you say "thank you" to yourself? If not, you need to be more polite.
joonsson 21
If you live in a sane country you don’t have to let your landlord in. And they have no right to control who you have over.
Natalie Butts 5
I rented a bedroom and couldn't have visitors in school. could be a situation like that.
joonsson 21
Depends on your country I guess but in most anything you rent is yours, within reason, but if you rent a bedroom you can bring anyone you want in there and the landlord can only complain if you violate house rules and so on.
Chazzster 32
What century is this that the landlord thinks it’s their business if a renter has a visitor over? OP I am sorry you are living in some time warp that put you back in the early 1900’s. It’s one thing to require people who might be residing there to be on the lease, but this is pushing the ridiculous.
mekiswrite 21
Where I live landlords need to give 3 days notice before entering without probable cause of contract violation. I don't think a day guest counts...
donb23 23
First thing I would take care of is those paper thin walls, or find out where they planted the bugs. Who know what else they are hearing.....or seeing.
siggy_mcsigx 22
What sort of gestapo landlord is that??
ohsnapword 21
It really depends on the situation. Depending upon the agreement, the landlord may have the right to inspect the renter's apartment. If the renter is renting an illegal accessory apartment (i.e. someone's basement), the only recourse the renter has is to find somewhere else to live, before reporting the illegal apartment.
interesting33 37
in the UK I believe they need to give 24hour notice if they are coming round
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Well you can tell your landlord, "Bless your little heart for checking in."