Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML
Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML
Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML
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Top comments
CheckOutYourBio 0
What the hell? Gawd, what a creeper. Beat his ass. You shouldn't lie out naked if you know there is a possibility that someone can see you though. YDI.
bummerd00de 0
Wow... what a creepy guy. But if your yard is fenced in, how did he get in the bushes?
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Comments (139)
orgthingy 2
what? creep? HE'S A MAN..jesus christ what do you expect a man to do but stare? woah, stupid FML..
noodlez222 0
its not indecent exposure if she is in her fenced backyard
Vagrarian 2
For those who say she was doing something illegal by sunbathing topless...actually, in most states, she's within her rights. If you have a reasonable expectation of privacy, like being in a fenced yard that's not easily seen into, then you're within your rights to go topless or naked. Doing that in an open front yard, or walking around naked in front of an open window that faces the street are another matter entirely. But if you're somewhere that someone has to work to see you (like climb a fence or tree, or crane out a window, or whatever) then it's not considered indecent exposure. Check your local laws.
lordmoe 0
On your property its only indecent exposure IF your yard is not blocked off by something. Now if he was in her yard that is illegal and is called TRESPASSING.
Smalls3706 0
Uhh, how does that make it ok? Just because he's a man he can do whatever he wants? No, that's dumb he was perfectly capable of not watching her.
SookMauNoots 0
this is a different version of another fml
Khiash 6
It'd be hilarious if the OP was male.
ravenscorne 0
Generally speaking, you're an idiot. If you want to be partially naked, and safe from prying eyes, do it inside your house. You're just asking for unwanted attention when you do something like that. Just because you have a fence doesn't mean you're protected.
epicwinmaster 0
waiting for quagmire to saw a hole through your fence? giggity
xoerica9 0
Did he climb over the fence? Fence FAIL. Or are your bushes growing on top of your fence? If so, you should enter a county fair of some sort, because I'm sure they've never seen that before!
doberhound 0
what if he was legitamately doing yardwork, and was pulling crap out of the bushes?
driedpeaches 0
well, fenced in yard and "her bushes" so I'm guessing he shouldn't of been there
Vagrarian 2
If he was in your bushes, you could call the police and press charges. I'd recommend you take greater precautions before sunbathing topless again...or just not do it anymore. Melanoma kills.