Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
Today, a man next door has been coughing constantly for past 3 months and I can hear him despite closing my windows. During the day there's construction noise and at night this asshole. I asked him many times to close his windows but he won't. Now I play coughing on a speaker at the same time he starts, just to piss him off. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I have to wear earplugs in my own apartment because my neighbor won't turn down his music. My landlord doesn't believe me because "people with disabilities can't be rude." FML
Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
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Top comments
thatguynamedsky 32
well thats snot nice
KaidensCrow 18
start sneezing into a megaphone
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Comments (57)
thatguynamedsky 32
well thats snot nice
GodPart2 20
Yeah, who nose what the neighbour could do next...
GodPart2 20
I'd get him to get down on his sneeze and beg for forgiveness
Thatissarcastic 17
Yeah, I mean how could he be so cold?
brownapple 22
What a booger.
SirNiceAss 13
When will he snop?
Quetzal27 12
Wow thats a load of snot!!
yve1220 20
Don't mind your neighbor op, some people just choose to be miserable.
bxjxj 20
You should sneeze on him so he gets sick and then when he sneezes a lot, file a noise complaint on him
FMLRITP 18
That's is the stupidest thing I've ever heard
Patriots21 14
16, modern day comments are all this stupid or they are saying "sorry OP, hope you get better!" just a disgrace to the glory days of clever and funny comments.
Rei_Ayanami 18
That's the thing, #17. The comment quality has not risen or lowered significantly one way or another. People simply choose to believe they were better in the past, as that is what they remember. They remember funny comments or puns, but choose to not remember the same jokes being told then that are being told now.
LittleBastard 20
Go to the posts from 09, they are far from better.
Lalala579121 28
16 - "That's is" the stupidest thing you've heard?
Saxicolous 27
Go to his house to explain, and maybe accidentally sneeze in his general direction
davidpropert 32
Farting in someone's general direction is usually more effective
RedPillSucks 33
Monty Python FTW
THEDUDE1553566 24
What a bad person. If I were u I would knock on his door and confront him on it
gosh_mate 30
Some people are so inconsiderate!
rebeccacmlc 22
Oh my god some people are just spiteful for the sake of it and make trouble for nothing ... That person probably doesn't have anything better to do in his or her life. I don't get these people.
Wer3Wolf3 16
Ring his doorbell, and when your neighbor opens the door sneeze straight in his/hers face.
RedPillSucks 33
neighbor would probably bring assault charges. OP I'm sure the cops gave it the attention it deserved.
failedgamer01 20
How loud are you sneezing for your neighbor to notice?