Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML
Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML
Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML
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Top comments
CheckOutYourBio 0
What the hell? Gawd, what a creeper. Beat his ass. You shouldn't lie out naked if you know there is a possibility that someone can see you though. YDI.
bummerd00de 0
Wow... what a creepy guy. But if your yard is fenced in, how did he get in the bushes?
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Comments (139)
CheckOutYourBio 0
What the hell? Gawd, what a creeper. Beat his ass. You shouldn't lie out naked if you know there is a possibility that someone can see you though. YDI.
im_djibouti 0
Why would you lay out topless in your yard if you have a creepy neighbor?
JustSoLost 8
I agree. Don't lay topless out in your yard, you'll get seen by someone for sure. ´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´ ♥«´¨`•°αυ∂яιиα°•´¨`»♥ .¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)`*•.
americayay 0
giggity
mcsnelly 5
No, she's in her fenced-in backyard. He had no reason to be looking at her from her bushes.
Unregistered 0
this sounds like the beginning of the **** I was watching last night. .. Interesting
RyanKaufman 7
I know it sucks and all, but you deserve it majorly. Try not to lay naked anywhere unless people can't see you. And I doubt your fence is tall enough to block everyone. Next time tanning salon? Or spa retreat?
VampireKiller59 0
ya I read and FML where someone was having secs in there bakyard and three little girls saw them
WeezyBites 6
Well at least he was kind enough to say bless you..?
curlsandwhatnot 0
first! and thats...creepy...
evangldbrg 0
FAIL!
Leatherandlace 0
First! Oh, no, I'm third. Just like you.
bummerd00de 0
Wow... what a creepy guy. But if your yard is fenced in, how did he get in the bushes?
AltoSaxKatie 0
Agreed. I call fake.
Vaetrus 0
Maybe... he... Jumped The Fence?
brrrx 0
Maybe the OP is extremely narcissistic, and the neighbour was actually on the opposite side of her bushes (aka in his back yard). Or perhaps she thought it was from the bushes and actually just over the fence (if it's a more solid fence than to have bushes growing through it). Sneezes can be pretty loud.
plexico 4
You really need to trim, you hairy bitch! Most women only have one bush, and some shave/wax that off completely. I've heard most women don't like men in there for more that 45 minutes or so, so you are just greedy.
Intoxicunt 6
Haha, win. Yeah, 45 is greedy. Share with me, you bitch! I'll trim up for him, unlike you. Pssh, some people. Selfish, selfish, selfish.
tbhagg 0
HAHAHAHAHA this comment made this fml funny
emadee 0
awww i was gonna make a bush joke but you beat me to it
null_fml 11
Moderated?! What the hell? I wanted to see it. :(
plexico 4
I don't why that got moderated. I've requested that this comment be reinstated. Let's see how that works.
plexico 4
null, For you, anything, bud. I'll see if I can write it so I can sneak it by the goalie. ---------------- You need to shave that [stuff], you hairy [female dog]! Most women have just one bush, and many shave/wax that one off. I've also heard that many women only like men down there for about 45 minutes, so you are greedy. ------------------ That's why the ladies love me. I just keep pushing.
Intoxicunt 6
Haha, the end of Plexico's new comment FTW. I don't remember what I said, except that the greedy [female dog] should share, because I would trim, unlike her.
null_fml 11
LMAO, thanks guys. I was actually thinking of asking about those comments in a PM, if they didn't get reinstated. Amusing comments like that get moderated, and random two-word racism ("YDI ******") trolls get to stay? Whatever the distinction is on the part of the mods, I'm pretty sure I disagree with it.
the_coon_fml 0
ftw?
SS_Anon 0
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dx169 0
That's hot.
Rockyio 0
haha #2... you fail... and this is one funny ass FML lmao
MiniatureMayhem 0
Your pubic hair was just blessing you, what's wrong with that?
sublime93 0
LMFAO i love you
msbrinacheetaah 2
bahahahha!! LOVE YOU!
maddybaddy 0
ew
screwtaylor 0
You should have let him join instead of being such a tease!
_Natasha_ 0
Wow.
chalkdust 4
Repeat FML much.