Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"ich liebe meine scheide" just say that everywhere you go
badbunny 0
remember, the universal language for ordering at a restaraunt is point at the item listed.
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Comments (204)
cooperisacat 0
Ugh, stop whining, you'll pick it up in less than two weeks.
lexiedear 0
This shouldn't be in a surprise. Any German teacher who is worth anything will inform you no less than twenty times a semester that each German-speaking country has it's own dialect.
menschmaschine5 0
1. You'll pick up the dialect without much difficulty if you have a decent command of hochdeutsch (the German they teach in schools). 2. Until then, most people in Austria speak English, so that's always something to fall back on.
darnesey 0
you'll get used to the language. it's only natural.
StJimmy117 0
Have fun!
cool_kid_cone 0
idiot. you should know that. If you were smart you'd at least do some research on the place you're going to if you're there for 6 months or so.
kcg4305 0
good thing you will be able to pick up the dialect in 6 months. It might suck, but don't let people talk to you and you will learn a lot, you'll have to.
allmadhere 0
If you're there for so long, and you already know German, you'll pick it up in no time, you just need to spend time talking to people!
LaughAtEric919 0
They speak German in Germany... good job.
XxSlAyNnXx 0
Just learn how to say beer. everything else will take care of itself