Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"ich liebe meine scheide" just say that everywhere you go
badbunny 0
remember, the universal language for ordering at a restaraunt is point at the item listed.
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Comments (204)
LemonFairy 0
And by the time you'll leave you'll be a pro. You can get by using the German you /do/ know and hand gestures. You'll pick up a language quickly enough if you're immersed in it.
tisiphone_fml 0
It will be OK! Immersion is the best way to learn, and many people in Europe speak English if all else fails.
shanemayhem 1
P.S. Austrians are capable of speaking and understanding German.
onigiriqueen 0
I taught myself Japanese for two years before moving to Japan. In the past year since I came, I've learned faaar more than those two years could ever have hoped to achieve. So just relax and push through it-- the first two months are the very hardest. After that, the real language-learning begins, because your listening skills start going through the roof and you are better able to separate words and search them and conjugate verbs on your own and everything. It's amazing, the transformation. But seriously-- DON'T speak English while you're there. It'll only slow down your language learning. Totally immerse yourself, and request to speak in German. It's one thing to call/Skype your friends and family and speak in English, but when you're there, present and paying attention, be sure to speak in German.
onigiriqueen 0
*I meant de-conjugate verbs, so you can search them in the dictionary and all that...
mohlee 0
I've heard of people having the same problem with French when they learn "metropolitan French" and then go to Québec - it's a completely different dialect. However, you'll get used to it. If you're going to be there till May you have plenty of time to learn it.
vev_fml 0
it's not that different. just open your mind and you'll figure it out. go around whining that you can't understand, and you'll get nothing out of it. And yeah, I learnt Hochdeutsch too, and lived in Berlin and Hannover. I get that Austrian is different, I don't understand it so easily, but stop complaining and spend some time listening.
onehotdemon 0
YTDI for not researching some information on the place you intend to stay in...
cals 0
YDI for not knowing that in the first place. i would expect that you should have done some reading up on a place you were going to be staying at for months at a time. that being said, take other people's advice, and speak the German you do know, and then get used to their dialect. you'll be fine.
JohnnyTheFox 0
Most Austrians are familiar with different styles of German, and you should be able to speak what you know with few problems. Not an FML dumbass, how did this make it past the mods?
ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0
fyl