Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"ich liebe meine scheide" just say that everywhere you go
badbunny 0
remember, the universal language for ordering at a restaraunt is point at the item listed.
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Comments (204)
enlitenbank 0
1. Lies lies lies. YOU suck at german. Germans and Austrians understand each other perfectly well. (Austrians are germans, same people, but two countries. Some dude started a war trying to unite all german hmm what was his name, wish they told us this in histroy hmm.) 2. Austria and Australia are different countries. I know some of you are trolling, but some of you are not. ******* retards. 3. Austrians understand english perfectly well.
xNephilim 19
1) There's a difference between a German understanding Austrian German and a foreigner trying to understand a language they've been taught in school that ends up sounding completely different in person. 2) Pretty sure we're all aware of that. 3) Some do. Maybe even most. But there are ALWAYS people who are either too rude and arrogant to switch to English for you OR who simply can't speak English.
saunder 0
hehe come visit switzerland, good luck here with ur "german" ;) ps: even in germany u have to be really lucky to find someone who does speak the "offical" german, but anyway, unlike germany in austria and switzerland at least everybody knows how to speak "high german" we just dont like it so much :P
xNephilim 19
Have you ever actually been to Germany or are you just trying to be an idiot? Because pretty much every German can speak Hochdeutsch and will do it for you, unless they're complete dickheads.
The_Cardinal 0
Umm, there's several dialects of German. In school you learned High, or Standard, German. But in the southern, Bayen region, they speak Bayerische, which is completely different. (My brother lives there, told me not to bother going to school for German, as it would be useless to me in his area. This is also often the dialect spoken in Austria. Good luck, OP http://german.about.com/library/weekly/aa051898.htm
Callie91_fml 0
You'll pick that up quickly! I lived in Germany some time and I couldn't much when I left home. So you'll be just fine, and learn the language fast. Good luck ;)
achsi 3
im austrian and i think that you wont have any problems communicating since everybody speaks english anyways in austria. but i have to agree that there are lots of dialects, ususally in the villages, that i dont even understand. at all. its like they speak another language, even to me. but i love it, its really great fun =D where exactly in oberösterreich do you live?
Blabloop_Fishie 0
**** Austria. It sucks. We in Germany keep making fun of it. And dialects suck anyways. They're just dumb
xNephilim 19
Don't speak for anyone but yourself. It's people like you that still give Germany the whole stigma of being racist. Dumbass.
haveacry 0
You'll be fine. 1. Everyone speaks english so if you NEED to you can. 2. Everyone will understand the German you speak since it's Hochdeutsch and that's what's taught in the schools here. Austria is AMAZING. Just give it a go. I'm in Steirmark and there's a very strong dialect. I came to Austria knowing ZERO german and have been here 3 months and am completely fine. Understand everything. You'll pick it up quickly if you just listen. It's like the differences between british and american english. Couple different words and a heavy accent.
hackwack123 0
so you didnt bother to even so much as wikipedia the country you were moving to for 6 months?
Talihintti 0
its not because they dont speak german, its because you dont speak german. i learned german and found austrian german to be way easier, because they pronounce things fairly clearly compared to germans (well ok, thats just in relation to languages i understand). anyway, the two arent too far apart, real people just never talk like the books you read at school, and this applies for pretty much all languages.
Tolot 0
Relax, i am from upper Austria and we are nice people. if you´ve got a problem send me a message i´ll help you out. enjoy your stay.