Today, my wife told me about an old boyfriend she had. She told me that they used to fool around, and that she’d give him blow jobs all the time. I never get any action like that from her. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my wife is upset because at a party we took part in an X-rated 'Never Have I Ever', which exposed how filthy I was with past girlfriends, and how boring our sex life is. I’d done almost everything, while she, who’s only ever been with me, had only done 5 things off the list of about 40. FML
Today, my wife of twelve years got drunk and told me the best sex she’s ever had was with her first ex after they broke up. FML
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife, doggy-style. She then got mad at me for coming on her back. I didn’t have the balls to tell her that was drool. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, I found out my parents still enjoy sex in their 60s, whereas my wife put an end to our sex life because she was tired of faking her orgasms. I had no idea she was faking, I thought our sex life was good, if she’d have told me I’d have done something about it. FML
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Top comments
John Martin 5
Simple; u ASSUME she gave old BF “head” because she knew he was too small to satisfy her vaginally. You’re not getting any “head” bc she’s worried you’d choke her. Perspective, m’man.
Kyle DE Hildebrand 3
You should ask her why you don’t get any action like her old BC did !!
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Comments (10)
Kyle DE Hildebrand 3
You should ask her why you don’t get any action like her old BC did !!
alex_jaguara 33
Rookie mistake. Don't ever get married, dude.
John Martin 5
Simple; u ASSUME she gave old BF “head” because she knew he was too small to satisfy her vaginally. You’re not getting any “head” bc she’s worried you’d choke her. Perspective, m’man.
xaonng 5
that comment in and of itself is assuming. whether or not that may be the case is wishful thinking but being a man who enjoys the act regardless of his size would appreciate receiving it nonetheless
skierbri10 10
Interesting prospective I’ve never thought about.
Mathalamus 25
Get over it. It's in the past.
tounces7 28
It's probably more her than anything to do with you. A lot of women get less and less adventurous as they get older. You just got stuck with one of those types.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
with age comes reduced spontanous romance
DoctorPALO 14
So if she's your wife, you should be able to talk to her about anything. Just tell her you're interested in that too. Of course, she may be of the mindset that fair is fair; do you do the same for her? If not, stop crying!
sickerthanyou 13
And that’s how you know how little she loves you, or maybe she just settled for you. That sucks