Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"ich liebe meine scheide" just say that everywhere you go
badbunny 0
remember, the universal language for ordering at a restaraunt is point at the item listed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (204)
SiriusOrionBlack 20
how the **** did you not know that
omgiculol 4
When I was in Austria, everyone spoke perfect English due to the fact that they learn it in school and most of their TV shows are in English.
cecilk 29
Could it be that you were in Australia instead? TV in Austria is always synchronized to German, the only English you could find there on TV is on foreign channels (BBC,...) or very specialized ones that only few people watch. Only channel except news channel Deutsche Welle (switches every hour between English and German) is ARTE and there the languagw is French, not English.
TheLegend_SamIAm 7
I know the feel....but with Spanish lol
girlfrog10 1
Most people in Germany/Austria speak English. So you are probably ok! :)
cecilk 29
Not really. In my parents generation (they are in their 50s) primary/secondary school divided kids into good and not so good pupils. Only those in the good group got English education, the others didn't get any at all. So my parents English is pretty much limited to "hello". In my generation (30s) all kids got English education, but it still was very basic (My name is ..., colours, where is the nearest railway station, ...). Only if you actually continued to a higher education, English education improved. But without practice it is faster forgotten than learned. TV is synchronized to German, books are translated, ... so unless you need the language in your daily life (job) the English knowledge is gone as fast as my French which I learned until I was 18 and then never needed again. Nowadays English education is a lot better and thanks to the internet you also get a chance to practice it. So if you are at a party with younger people, changes are high that their English is good enough, but if you try it with e.g. a supermarket employee above 40 it is pretty unlikely that they'll understand you trying to find flour.
iateapenguin 27
How on earth could you learn German to the extent that you could stay in a German-speaking country, but not be aware that they have different dialects in different regions? They need to teach more about culture in language classes, rather than focusing on the actual words themself. SMH.
ToxicTyrael 26
At least you're in Oberösterreich. Could be worse (Vorarlberg )
JewKnowIt 19
Yeah...they teach high German at almost all schools. It's nowhere near some of the crazy dialects. Good luck OP
feeloona 18
Even I don't understand people from Austria. I'm German :)
udaykataria 18
tbh you deserved it. Austria and Germany are two completely different countries and have you honestly never heard that they don't speak German there?
Nobinx 15
YDI because you have to inform yourself about the country you are visiting - and austria isn't even germany! The standard high german is only spoken in the north. When you visit bravaria you probably don't understand a word. I know I don't, and I am german.