Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"ich liebe meine scheide" just say that everywhere you go
badbunny 0
remember, the universal language for ordering at a restaraunt is point at the item listed.
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Comments (204)
NFL333 0
better learn quick
drkstr 0
Ich komme aus Deutschland. Your German must suck if you can't get by in Austria.
partychix246 0
ya I know right it's weird but you should be able to understand it mostly cuz I understood it cuz I'm fluent in high German and I spent one semester there
muzician 0
it's not that different really
HockeyDude15 0
everywhere has a different dialect u fag face
angelwing701 0
Ich kann nicht Deutsch sprechen - I can't speak German
BonIfatius 3
haha I'm from Vienna, and even I had troubles understanding them sometimes >.< beautiful region, though :)
cecilk 29
Still remember when at home we got satellite TV and could see not only Austrian TV but also German one. Pretty much the first thing I watched was an interview of a German news-show with a farmer from Tyrol (West Austria). They subtitled him. It really depends a lot where in Austria somebody has grown up. In Eastern Austria peoples dialect is a bit closer to Standard German, the farther south or west you are going the heavier the dialect, especially in Alpine valleys. I learned Standard German only in the German-lessons in secondary school, in all other classes we spoke dialect. I have to concentrate to speak it and it sounds rather awkward in my ears.
death_prevails 6
Eh... Unless you're in some remote mountain village, it's not that difficult to adapt to. Try regional Switzerland (even Zürich doesn't compare to that one)...
anjtrg_1112 23
Don't worry, it isn't very different from regular German. Also, one month there and you'll be fluent!(: