Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"ich liebe meine scheide" just say that everywhere you go
badbunny 0
remember, the universal language for ordering at a restaraunt is point at the item listed.
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Comments (204)
phantomdonut 0
You'll figure it out. :) There are different dialects all over the German-speaking world. Hey, I was in Saxony and I couldn't understand a thing! Especially in stores and such, they realize pretty quickly that you know only academic or "high" German, and will soon switch over to that and speak slower for you. I found that happened more often than not. Enjoy the experience! I'm SO jealous!
xzilx 1
Of course its different, Germany and Austria are two different places.
Xader 0
So are the US and Canada, but there is so little real difference as to be negligible.
xNephilim 19
Except that parts of Canada speak French...
rihannalover 0
hey, you live in a foreign country for a couple months and you learn the language. you'll be fine, you already know german. it won't take you very long to pick up the language.
glock17wielder 0
If all else fails, just talk like Arnold Schwarzenegger haha. But I'm sure you'll do fine; Austrian German is still German so you're off to a good start.
bugmenotmofo 34
sherlock...
GriefBacon 0
Fortunately you're in Europe, and a lot of people there do speak at least some English. Also, you might try the Austrian>English dictionary section in the bookstore. Then there is also sign language, or taking a vow of silence. Either way, this isn't really an FML.
shaniqualee 2
Yeah, you get to live in a foreign country, experience a completely different culture, get to know people outside of your country, experience a completely different life style and most likely go through a life-changing experience and you're disappointed by the fact that you can't use your third-rate, piss-poor excuse for German? Yeah, eff your life big time. You should die, right now.
RipIt 0
I agree, but less blunt.
Invierno 10
And you didn't know this prior to your departure? 'Tis a shame... I have a feeling you'll be asking "Spreche Sie Englisch?" quite often. Have fun!
sarahbau 0
Yeah - I could understand not knowing that for a week long vacation, but to not know that before moving there for 6+ months? Language classes alone are almost never enough to prepare you for how the language is actually spoken. You can read things, and people might be able to understand you, but unless you have speaking and listening experience with people from a certain region, it will be difficult.
telfie 0
How the hell did you not know that Austrians speak a different dialect of German? That was cultural lesson number 1 for us: different regions of Germany, and different German speaking countries, have their own dialect and accents. That said, welcome to the 2nd language learning pitfall from hell that affects pretty much every study abroad person known to man: you didn't learn to speak the conversational language in class. You learned to speak Hochdeutsch with grammatical finesse and probably by listening to whatever is considered the "standard" German accent and lexicon. My advice, hon? Get out there and stumble your way around Austria. It'll come to you.
Rob19 0
I suggest you learn quick