Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML
Today, I tried to seduce the girl I like by telling a joke. It turns out my delivery was so bad that she asked if I was auditioning for a new version of "The Room." FML
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, I had my German oral exam. It was going well, until halfway through I did the biggest burp I could have ever imagined. I don't even know how to say sorry in German. FML
Today, my husband and I went on vacation. We got lost and had to ask the locals for directions to our hotel. Neither of us could understand their accents, and we ended up wandering around blindly for hours until we made it back on our own. FML
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Top comments
fadingfaith 4
Wow, haha. How did you find out you said that?
Molord1 0
Sounds like a strange Porno
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Comments (143)
fadingfaith 4
Wow, haha. How did you find out you said that?
genesisnirvana 11
I hope i don't get you lost"Ich hoffe, dass ich dich nicht verloren" I hope I don't seduce you "Ich hoffe, dass ich nicht verführen" They're kind of closel
fanceh 10
if you then gave up, and walked them to the place they were trying to get to. awkwardddd.
DeadxManxWalking 27
Cops?
ThEKID96 4
She found out when the germans started too strip. Duh.
SCREAM4meeee 0
well the Germans were obviously seduced
AaronTkr 0
#1 - BroTips follower on tumblr i see ;D
dave04045 1
32 - That isn't how you say that in German. Verloren is a verb that implies a physical object being lost. (google translate sucks FYI). In reality, the two sentences are very different from eachother. Your first sentence means - I hope I don't lose you
SirObvious 1
I need to learn how to say that
die_coco 0
it's more like: ich hoffe, dass ich euch/sie nicht verliere/verführe. and yeah they are easy mix up
Susieee_Q 9
I bet they knew what you were really trying to say, so don't sweat it too much. I applaud you for at least having the courage to communicate with them, though. More than I would have done.
AustrianChaos 3
I'm sorry, but that's not German. Sounds more like an old Babelfish translation. I hope you don't get lost: Ich hoffe, dass Sie sich nicht verirren. I hope I don't seduce you: Ich hoffe, dass ich Sie nicht verführe. Anyways, I don't think they were offended or anything, they probably just had a good laugh.
yoursucklives 36
no dave. you can say "verlieren" if you lost a person too.
yoursucklives 36
austrian chaos: zerst amoi hallo! und: he didn't say "i hope you don't get lost" but "i hope i don't get you lost!" auf jedn foi: schene grüße aus oö ;)
dave04045 1
89 - again not true. You can't literally translate "I hope I don't get you lost".
achsi 3
actually "I hope you dont get lost" is in german "Ich hoffe dass ihr euch nicht verläuft" and "I hope I dont seduce you" would be "Ich hoffe dass ich sie nicht verführe" theyre not that close...
woooooooooooooow 6
I hope you realize that your German is phenomenally incorrect...
Molord1 0
Sounds like a strange Porno
WillDaBeast83 0
Sounds like a great Porno
enonymous 9
Have you even seen a German porno? Makes 2 girls 1 cup look like a Dairy Queen commercial. Now I'm craving a DQ blizzard
zbajis 7
23 is prolly one of the biggest pervs on here. and not just because of that comment but because of all of them.
IndiRae 9
At least OP didn't accidentally ask for some semen in their coffee.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
I have to admit, I've seen 2 girls 1 cup without any reaction. It wasn't kinky nor was it overly disgusting either.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
"Oopsies, I dropped my pen, hope you don't mind if I bend over and pick it up." Weird guy-"Not at all, pick it up for me nice and slow." "Okay, I hope I don't seduce you" Seems pretty logical to me. Then again, I am a socially inept loser and the only sexual contact I've ever had was when I was drunk with my cousin. Wait a second, I'm not from Arkansas!
enonymous 9
67 if it makes you feel any better or safer I'm fapping outside your window. Oh **** is Bobby Flay putting creme fraiche on that pie!?! Mother of God!!!
pieintheface 0
You know what they say.. A strange porno Is a great porno
THEKAISER 4
Well they are German...
Rizzen 27
says thekaiser :P
sunflower226 0
is this even real?
zaku2capt 1
Sexy
rdvfyubuyg 1
xD winnnn
SugarCrazy 14
I'm sure they were hoping you wouldn't seduce them, too.
celticsfan69 0
Haha that's true
seeunexttuesdays 6
Or maybe they did ;D
Derek191919 0
if she did seduce them that would be one ... weird vacation
enonymous 9
Hey now... What are you doing later?
MeowingKat 0
First!!!
Sun_Kissed18 25
Ooh that's embarrassing. They probably knew what you meant
freshV43 0
Haha
genesisnirvana 11
I doubt it
Sun_Kissed18 25
Well they are probably homophones, sound alike but are different in meaning. Of course, I can't be sure because I don't speak german :P
overthelimit 3
german is a really confusing language, so i honestly dont blame them
patebishop 7
how about next time you make sure you're saying the right thing jahahaha
VeganVampyre 27
Really? I'm sorry, are you fluent in German? It's a bloody difficult language to learn. They have very different language rules, and way more words that you not only have to learn the meanings of, but also the differences in the meanings of similar words, and when to use which one. So don't just say "know what you're saying" because it's really not that simple with German.
njgohard 16
English is actually a Germanic language. So we're pretty close to them linguistically.
dave04045 1
58 is correct, English is a Germanic language. (I'm fluent)
chelseaaababyyy 17
yeah i took german, i loved it but it could get very complicated. but german is alot like english.
Susieee_Q 9
Still, though. I don't think OP should be blamed for trying. Sh!t happens. Hopefully they knew what OP meant.
RUSH777 0
51, actually, no, it really isn't that difficult. I taught myself German, starting at age 12.
VeganVampyre 27
117- Obviously it would be easier if a) you were younger, and b) you moved there. I'm talking about trying to learn it on your own, as an adult, in an English - or any non German - speaking country. Much harder.
Broc831 6
y so kinky? lol
BOOSCAREDU 0
Um. I'm very sorry there sir you happen to be missing some letters there; W and H. I will help you find then as soon as I can.