Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"ich liebe meine scheide" just say that everywhere you go
badbunny 0
remember, the universal language for ordering at a restaraunt is point at the item listed.
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Comments (204)
amazingkate 0
talk about not counting your blessings, whining about something that almost everyone who studies abroad has to deal with, and not being able to work out how you'll deal with a situation. jayzus christ grow up.
Residence_fml 4
Didn't they taught you in your German classes about the difference between Hochdeutsch and the Austria dialect? Well don't worry about it too much, sure it will be a little tough but they understand you when you talk Hochdeutsch and even English if you really have to. After a few weeks you can understand them perfectly too. Exchange students in our country don't even speak our language when they come here! And some even refuse to learn the language and will have to communicate in English but most people don't mind it they just don't understand anything said in class! Good luck
Amandanumber2 0
You must be a Fulbright TA, just like me! I was in Salzburg last year, but I'm in Vienna this year - a whole new dialect to learn. You may not improve your German this year, but you sure as hell will improve your Austrian. Good luck, kiddo.
JessiGoose 0
You'll pick it up, don't worry.
bibliobhulabalo 3
If you speak German, you should be able to pick Austrian up. And, as someone who's lived in foreign countries, it is possible to get around without the language. You can mime pretty much everything you want to say. It becomes a bit of a game.
bibliobhulabalo 3
If you speak German, you should be able to pick Austrian up. And, as someone who's lived in foreign countries, it is possible to get around without the language. You can mime pretty much everything you want to say. It becomes a bit of a game.
phoebatron_ 0
YDI for not doing research beforehand.
WTFishappening 0
don't they speak mostly english in australia?
ziqi92 0
read the fml again. this is AUSTRIA in EUROPE. not AUSTRAILIA
clarely 0
This isn't an FML. This is a "welcome to a foreign country." Dialects are everywhere, and the fact that you had no idea that Austria had a different dialect before you arrived is rather unbelievable. I lived in a part of Germany with a dialect, and I adjusted. It only takes a few weeks to work out the differences and then you're fine. It's not a big deal.
Scootles7 0
First of all, research the dialect before you go there. Second of all, you were probably taught hochdeutsch, which means you will do just fine. You deserved it, not that "it" is very bad in the first place.