Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
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Top comments
random__user 0
You deserved it, you idiot. The puppy didn't though.
sexyx0sandyyy 0
awww! poor puppy!!! how cute/sad!
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Comments (359)
ChinyereCouture 0
omg...FAIL.
esclave_fml 0
That is so ****** up. Give the puppy to someone who'll take care of it, idiot.
Winston8068 0
I'm horrified at this story. Horrified. Poor dog.... Didn't know any better. Awww.
MyBloodSings 0
Shoving a puppy's face into his own pee is disturbing and wrong. I would say the same about kicking it too. You have some major sucking up to do to that poor dog. One question though, Who kicks their leg?! If there was a tickling feeling on my leg, I would have swatted it! Weirdo.
dani3oh3 0
awww!!! poor thing! how the **** does a gorgeous little puppy feel like a mosquito?! idiot and plus its adopted, hasnt the poor thing been through enough!:L
AntiChrist7 0
if you have any sympathy, you give him away for adoption immediatly. how can you mistake a mosquito for a puppy.
worstlifevuh 0
ROFL at #9 that completely made my day.
dumbNdumberer 0
i'm sorry but that is hillarious. and so sad! that poor puppy.
1Tsk 0
horrible, horrible man!
psychospice484 0
LMAO at #24 HAHAHAHAHAHA!