Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I woke up, got out of bed, but I didn’t notice the dog right next to my bed and accidentally kicked her. All the treats, apologies, and attempted pets in the world won’t help. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
When you tickle someone you have to be prepared for the consequences...
HappyItalian 38
Is your girlfriend that hairy?
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Comments (55)
PenguinBitch 44
Basic bitches.
iceking53 8
no bj for you
sayyestothedress 24
#2 plz stop
wanted_2_want 40
That was rough, rough.
noah_1234 24
YDI for trying to kick your dog in the face...even though it was your gf
GigaPudding_fml 24
When you tickle someone you have to be prepared for the consequences...
tayymeds 23
why was she by your feet?
thatoneninjadude 14
Nice # 29
confusedAsFuck 34
*Homer Simpson's voice* Foot fetish, mmmmmm
foxwasalamb 24
#29 we spend way too much time on this app
likeableme 9
I remember this fml
nicehotcupoftea 13
What fml are you guys talking about? Really curious!
Pizzadude43897 3
haha i rememeber that one x)
supernerd95 17
me too remember it..
nicehotcupoftea 13
Oh okay yeah I remember that. Thanks!
IndefiniteBeauty 17
I remember that one!
HappyItalian 38
Is your girlfriend that hairy?
chadermcchaf 16
His girlfriend is probably King Kong
mannatee 19
A better question is, why was your girlfriend's face that close to your foot?
False_Stupidity 42
They might have fallen asleep after going at it 69 style ;)
MrsDruidess 23
no I would rather know why OP is ok with kicking his dog but not ok with kicking a human. . .
swash984 22
I sometimes use my foot to push away my dog. Not in a harmful way. Though, I am pretty sure he didn't suspect his gf to be down there...
man_in_black08 28
Takes doggy style in the bedroom to a whole new level :P
MrDonSalvetti 27
And this comment takes bad jokes to a whole new level...
shelbystang 2
Man you are probably gonna be in the doghouse with that one.
Just_A_Tree 20
OP, play dead. She has to stop asking questions and leave eventually. Right?!? Nah, but really. Act like you're asleep. People do the weirdest shit when they're asleep, it's the perfect excuse!
Texasblackboots 16
Sucks bro, you never gonna live this down
WCARlover 35
I'm just wondering why her face was right by your foot. If she was trying to tickle you while you were sleeping I don't know why she thought that would be a good idea ...I'm probably not alone in just getting angry when I get tickled :p
tbro47 23
Maybe she was trying to bury a bone
GentlemanBastard 15
I absolutely hate being tickled. My wife likes to torture me with it. I almost broke her finger before. It wasn't a good scenario, yet she continues to do it because it's "funny".
PoisonOrchid 21
I think you're probably exaggerating quite a bit #32.
supernerd95 17
how can you not like being tickled?
keiNan_fml 35
Damn! and what happened later on
tony1891 22
pretty sure ops girlfriend ended up putting ice on her bruise. whilst op didn't get no nookie.... Probably for a while at least
ambowew 7
Close enough.